I was waiting for your reply... didn't see your post above rika's....
Sorry....
....You're so sweet... TT^TT
but didn't you ask me to tell you if I'm sad?
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 10:34pm
Sorry... I'll be happy if you want me to! ^_^
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 10:47pm
Who said I fake? I never fake!
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 10:48pm
....You know.... You'll live fine without me ^_^
I just noticed that... No... Noticed that for quite a while! Just didn't wanna
admit
Umm I dont trust people either
But since people dont really care, I just sleep ayway :p
But I guess I understand what you mean
Well.... majority of the teachers dont care...... and some teachers do so....
yeah
Usually it's okay
I dont understand how people stay awake in class
Umm I meant I read like a robot if I'm reading something planned out
Like a speech or whatever
Thirteen? But your brother looked so young and tiny and cuuuuttte in the picture
13..... Let me see...... I was 13 in....... 2005........ I was still a middle
schooler back then TT^TT
Oh I get what you mean.... I've seen people read like that
I usually read in my mind so I dont read out loud
Hahahax that's hilarious
I kinda read like that too sometimes...... not very often but sometimes
I really can't do persuasive speeches or anything like that
You seem to be basically good at everything...... *jealousy
spaarrrkkksss*
Well the country is still at the risk of war since it was just a truce with
North Korea and even if it looks all good and stuff, the people dont have decent
jobs and if they dont go to a college near the capital, they're considered
stupid and people dont hire them
It's just one corrupt country
It's not a wonder so many people are going to the US where people are acutally
appreciated for their talents and not which school they came from or what grades
they got
Yeah there are worse places but I wouldn't call Korea a good place to live in
either
And it's not just common racism.... Koreans are basically....... natural born
racists or something
Either that or they're just too in love with themselves, they think everybody
else is inferior
Wow..... that really is........ well..... unfair.......
I dont really get it..... so why are women so mistreated?
Hmm..... the sun usually irritates me...... so bright and what not..... and
what's up with the birds being all loud? How about some sleep?
You know..... that reminds me of something that I read in a book
"Why must the sun rise every morning? If it just forgets to rise one day or
not at all, we would see it's importance and learn to appreciate it"
And I was totally glad that there was at least one person who thought like I
did
I dont really know....... I always feel like I'm losing something whether I'm
pessimistic or opitimistic
I think the balance is tipping a bit...... people are changing.... the world is
becoming more and more evil and corrupt......
True that there is nobody who doesn't have a bias...... because every opinion or
thought we have is already biased
Oh I get that too.... even when I see people playing with their siblings I just
wanna adopt one TT^TT
It's always hard to say goodbye.... but we have to move on Sara.......
I did that so often.... I thought.... "What's the point of having friends
anyway?"
I remember my friends too......... it's quite funny to remember how I was with
them.......
Then again.... it's quite sad like you said
But it was worth it right?
Yeah I think you don't really learn to appreciate something until you know it's
gone.....
Well I usually believe things that I dont see and dont believe things that I
see
Because we cant see love or hatred or hear it.... but we know it's there like
air
And I know that there is God even though I dont see God because....... I just
cannot accept the theory that the earth was just coincidentially made at the
right temperature and right location with right amount of everything with all
the animals to keep on life and it's cycle
Yeah that's true.... gossip is really a big weapon in society
You know..... I feel everything..... I realize things around me..... but there
are times that I doubt...... "Am I really alive?"
What if..... by some chance..... everything that I see, feel, hear, taste,
smell... everything.... what if everything was just memory..... or illusion....
or just a dream?
I'm sure that you have the faith to go to heaven........ although we are
probably of different religion.......
.............
You know Sara...... it's really hard for me....... when I talk about heaven or
hell.......
Because I do believe in it..........
Sometimes I wish that there was no God........ or heaven or hell.......
Anyways..... Let's move on!
Well the carrot and the AIDS thing was just hypothetical
I was just trying to say that they always change what they say
But I guess that's true
I havent seen vegetarians dying from diabetes :p
And yeah... when I'm hungry, I don't do well in school :p
You dont like scary movies? That's one more odd thing about you *adds to the
list*
Wow..... you really must be healthy.... or strong.... whatever the difference
is
I get cold and fever all the time
It's not much to brag about but whenever I got colds, I got fevers along with it
like a package
I'd regret it all my life either way.......
For killing...... or not for being able to save someone I love
Wow....... I can't imagine you doing that eithe
You surprise me every minute......
Hmm....... nope
Just can't imagine you shouting or yelling or being angry.......
Scottish people have some odd sense of fashion though.......
Yeah now women can....... I think now they wear basically everything...... and
some clothes that children should not see *cough cough.......* crud... I'm
coughing blood again
Im like that too
I forgive but still have burning grudges inside me
But for me, since I have really bad memory, I just forget about it and just move
on
Even if I dont forget, I just try to..... for some reason
If I dont..... I feel like I need to break something because of the anger inside
me and the regret for forgiving that person
Yup.... human relationship is one of the most complicated thing.......
Yeah I saw that in a cartoon
Adulthood to me......... seems like the boringest thing ever........
Oh I sees
Still in KSA........ KSA.........?
*looks it up*
Oh I seez d(=w=)b
That sounds totally fun
So does your brother also tell you if the shirt is ugly or not?
Yeah actually...... I dont' know if I want to change a whole lot either.....
although I changed dramatically since elementary.......
Dont know if you believe me but I was cheerful and optimistic until elementary
It's okay
I forgive you
I'm generous enough to do that
You take care too Sara
And hope you make all the right choices
hehe i was talking about a different brother, i have two brothers, the young
five year old one and the thirteen year old one. i wrestle around and play alot
with the youngest, but the older one is ok too, i used to play alot with him and
give him many piggy backs though when he was a lil baby. hehe ^^ but it's a fact
that the lil one is a bundle of joy, at least to me. he always manages to make
me smile even when i'm bugged. like when i'm angry and he goes "Sara?"
and i ignore him, he comes over and pats my arm and says "You're so
cute" and me "awwwwwww" *melting* so you see,
he just knows how to flatter me and make me laugh and smile but he does
bring out my motherly side too, cuz i took care of him alot when he was younger.
besides, he also softened my nature, i only started using endearments after he
was born, so yea ^^
hmmm i think alot of our teachers don't care if you sleep or not but they don't
let you cuz it's against the rules to sleep in class but we did
many fun things in class usually in
eleventh grade though i didn't take part of the fun, always too busy in class
writing my stories...but in tenth grade we'd make small tiny paper balls and
place them on the desk, aim, and flick it over to someone we passed
notes, played chinese whispers, passed food under the desks...got in trouble for
it but yea,
school times were fun. the students here are rather rude when they want to be,
so they answer teachers back and so on, rather funny. of course there was the
cheating during tests, the small scraps of paper with answers written on
them...sometimes there was the stealing of exam papers...which in the end was
found out but it was a lil toooooo late for that of course
being me, i always helped out my friends and shared my exam answers with them
when the teacher wasn't looking, never thought there would be benefits out of
it...but i really believe that what you study for you get, even if yuo had the
exam paper and studied for it, you're not destined to get an A. cheating and
stealing are wrong, and we all tend to pay the price. ...of course
i never stole the paper or cheated from anyone..so don't get any ideas
oooh well i usually read in my mind too, it's much faster, but we need to
practice! so at times i read a lil aloud. usually in whispers loud enough for me
to hear myself read. it's actually pretty fun. i enjoy hearing the different
ways my tone changes and so on. i even put on a different accent for someone or
talk harsher for a bad guy or something...so it's fun and amusing ^^
Adham likes to hear me read...sometimes he comes and gets his kiddy books and
says "Sara read this for me" but that was before...now he's soooo
occupied playing PS2 24/7....so unhealthy but he's spoiled so no one can tell
him anything ^^"
you know something Ju? i was just never all that when i was younger. everytime i
remember that, everytime i accomplish something i thank God a million times for
helping me become a better person. in my opinion, God was the one who gave me a
chance to better myself and of course when we're talking beauty-wise, of course
it was God who gave me the looks.
you wouldn't believe me but i seriously wasn't a pretty girl every before i like
turned 17...i'm so dead serious but no one believes me, they all think i'm being
modest or exaggerating but i'm not. as a kid i was always always made fun off.
what happened was i was a very cute kid, looked alot like my youngest brother,
but then somewhere in second grade i kinda broke my nose in second grade...fell
down the stairs or something. and dad being dad he told mother there was no need
to go to a doctor and that my nose will be ok. well it wasn't ok. up till i
turned 17 my nose was the worst! i never liked my nose, then again i never liked
anything about me. i was just an unpretty girl. not ugly, but just not pretty
either. but then that's for the looks...my personality was just as awful!
i was very very sensitive..(then again i still am but i manage it better now) i
cried over every single thing, i was a cheerful girl, i talked way too much, i
always told people secrets, i trusted people so fast, i believed in people.. but
that's not the worst, i was so stupid. all my teachers as a kid said i'm
intelligent.
you see the principal of my brother's school now (my youngest brother) was
actually my teacher when i was in elementary. and when i went to visit with her
after dropping my brother off she was like "if it isn't my intelligent
beauty!" and me "hehe ^^" but you see she talked about how i'm
such a clever person and if my brother was like me then he would be all clever
and intelligent.
thing is though, i never put the intelligence to good use. i don't remember
myself then...but i just know i was horrible cuz i remember my parents mocking
me and calling me names...
then...when i was around twelve...all that personality thing changed...the pride
within me didn't like being mocked, i didn't want to be mocked by my parents...i
didn't want to be put down...i wanted a reason to hold my head up high...and you
know, i made a reason.
by sitting in front of the mirror and crying in the bathroom everyday from being
mocked, i think something within me was sparked. seeing a pitiful, tear-stained
face looking back just made me damn angry, then lionhearted was born. basically,
she would be the strong voice inside me that pushed me forward. i was never
alone, the voice was always telling me to strive for the best. i lost the
ability to cry, really i didn't cry much. whenever i did, the voice cursed me
senseless and got angry and yelled at me..so i never cried...then i started
reading dictionaries and encyclopedias...of course that gave me the information
to be better off than many. i read stories so my vocabulary and reading skills
would improve... i bettered myself and to be honest, i'm proud of myself. i'm
proud and confident too.
and it all gave me the faith that a person can change themselves if they wanted
to... and my inspiration was my proud Lionhearted.
...and now...no one makes fun of me, no one mocks me...even if they wanted to,
they have no basis on which to mock me... mwahahahahahahaha *smirks* this would
be the fruit that i myself reaped, and you must know, i enjoy every bite of that
fruit... afterall, i worked oh so hard...i deserve the sweet taste the fruit
brings me.
but the looks i have God to thank for. really...i'm grateful from the depths of
my heart that i'm growing prettier each year. mother said i would be like her,
the kind of girl who gets prettier as she grows older. which is well and good,
afterall us women need the looks as we grow older ne my mother's
very pretty, when we walk together, many people ask if she's my sister. so it's
cool ^^
yea, no one is really appreciated for their talent around here either...
thankfully though i don't think there's gonna be any wars here, seems this is a
peaceful kingdom...
but you don't need anyone to appreciate your talents if you appreciate them
yourself. though i do think it's nice to be appreciated by others.
women aren't mistreated, they're just not given the freedom. there's a
difference well
the reason...hmmm......arab culture?
ohh...never know what you've got till its gone. true most people are like that,
but personally i don't think it applies to me. i tend to appreciate the person
and know his/her value to me, not gonna wait till the person's gone and sit
there regretting. i guess i'm an open person, so i let people know how i feel
about them, in case one of us disappears then there are rarely any regrets. i
don't take those i love for granted, not for a minute, it doesn't seem right.
even though most of the people i met seem to take everything for granted
^^"
i move on, at times though it feels like i only move on with half of me, while
the other remains with my memories, holding on to my dearest moments... which is
probably horrible really. but it doesn't really bother anyone but me...so
...it's ok if i want to sink in my own memories, i'm still moving forward in my
own way. but the memories make me think "once upon a time...you treated me
nicer" things like that ^^" so the memories do sometimes bother me and
the person in my memories... kinda hard to explain :P ^^
i agree, i believe in God too because no way everything created itself, what
created the right temperature then? what created time and the right moment? so
you see, it's endless. i think everyone believes in God, everyone though calls
it differently. like "The power that controls things" even when people
say "fate" to me it's just like saying God ordained it and so on...but
i donno... my teacher said even atheists knew there was a God. they just called
it other things and pretended to be ignorant. oh well... it's not my business
what anyone believes ne ^^"
i believe in heaven and hell too! well...we could close this topic though now,
our religions are different...so there are alot of complications. but i happen
to be Muslim just in case you were wondering ^^
when i'm hungry...i get migraines and don't do well in anything :P and thing is,
during exam times i'm always hungry! so i always
gain like two three pounds...oh yea! i get hungry for sweets so i have
alot of icecream and chocolates ^^"
i don't usually get sick often, but when the weather changes from like summer to
winter, i do get sick. it's usually even like the same time every year, around
November or so, i come down with a cold, a flu, and fever. but usually
i don't get sick often. i think i have a strong immune system, that's cuz i
don't take much meds and let my body fight it out on normal occasions.
ohh? heheh wow do i look and seem that angelic? well i don't yell often that's
for sure.. but i do get angry. usually when i do i try to ignore everything and
pretend i'm not mad...the only person who has loud arguments with me is my
sis..can't say it's that bad. thankfully sis and i are so close, so one sec
we're arguing, and the next we're hugging. so it's ok ^^
the other person i yell at is my older brother at times. but it's true, i don't
really shout much. and with friends, if i'm angry i walk off or just ignore them
and start reading. but then again my friends never really do anything to make me
angry
i don't think i'd regret killing someone who is a potential harm, i'd regret not
getting rid of the danger and allowing it to steal the life of someone i
love.
oh Ju, i'm not that kind, honestly. like once my Tommy and i were talking about
sacrificing ourselves for the general public. simply, I WOULD NEVER! sorry, i
only take bullets for those i love, not Mr. Random Stranger. i'm not willing to
die for strangers, i don't think my opinion will ever change, and i will not
accept my lover dying for a stranger either, i'll come close to cursing him in
the grave for being a hero for some
reason, it's sad. why would you want your lovwer to die for a stranger when
you're sitting by the door waiting for him is beyond me! what if we had kids
too?! i wonder if our kids would appreciate their parent dying for someone so
random.. i know i wouldn't appreciate my parents acting like heroes...thank but
leave the heroic acts to the cops. -/////-
..so did i shatter an illusion? did i seem like the type to stand in front of
some man and protect him? now a child...well i donno..there are freakin
exceptions...i'd try to save the child, but i donno...if there was a huge risk i
was gonna die.....i donno really... ....i donno...
hahahahaha *hands over tissue*
they're not grudges, i don't hold grudges, but like the scar of the pain won't
go away. i wouldn't be mad, the person's already forgiven...but it's hard to
explain. it's just like my heart not wanting to be hurt by the same kind of pain
again, so there's this barrier. and it's true, yell at me once, i'd cry cuz it
hurt my feelings, when you yell the second time, i'd probably stare, maybe look
sad, by the third time the yelling leaves no real emotion in me and i'm thinking
"your voice is jarring" see what i
mean? ^^
no one likes to be hurt, and being hurt so many times while growing up, this is
my way of adapting to it.
hahaha both my brothers tell me if my shirt's cute! the youngest i go *cute baby
voice* "Is the shirt cute?!" and him "yes" and me
"nyaaaaaaaaaa!" then the older one i say *curious serious questino*
"is the shirt really nice?" and my brother *Chokes* "umm...yes it
is..." and me "ok then thanks ^^"
my youngest though tells me i'm cute alot i think he
likes me saying 'nyaaaaaaa' and so on. but he likes messing up my hair
hahah thanks for forgiving me Mr. Generous brother ^^
take care and it was fun talking to you as usual ^^
hope to hear from you soon!
Sincerely,
Sara
P.S. have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ^^
Quote by 95ElizabethAll the rozen
maiden dolls are 100.88 US dollars... Except for Hinaichigo... Hinaichigo is
104.99 US dollars... tehehe.... I have a room filled with anime dollies!
Especially lacus dolls! And all the cute fluffy little animes like Mokona!
Mokona mokona! I have a modoki one too! And I have lots and lots of other cute
stuff! I used to have more but mother said they were childish and unlady like so
she threw them away.... I WANT MOKONA BACK! MOKONA'S SOOOO
CCUUTTTEE!
Hina Ichigo? Why is she more expensive compared to the other dolls?
I wish I had a Barasuishou doll
You must really like dolls
Here you go Elizabeth
Sorry..... I didn't have time to make it look good
And I'm not really improving with my photoshop TT^TT
I hope you have another great year and I'm sorry if I hurt you in any
way.....
I hope we can be better friends....... and........ hope you can forgive me
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 07:46pm
Quote by 95ElizabethI know how to
make dollies too! I made a few... But most of them look two round... heh... And
they look like.... Either eggs or snow men... I tried to make the christmas card
for you with a picture of a santa claus doll... But I didn't finish the santa in
time... And I got pierced by the needle a lot... tehe....
Sorry... It's not very good... My photoshop wasn't working... So I had to use
ordinary paint program....
Merry christmas.... thanks for the card... I'm not offended... I was just a bit
grumpy then... I wasn't in a good mood.... My mother was complaining about what
a mistake I am... And I fell like a zillion times... And I just got a pass for
my vocal test.... I got honors last year... Not to mention one of the porcelain
dolls broke... And Kane was chosen as captain of the netball team.... I wasn't
exactly happy about that... heh... I
get jealous... tehe... Maybe my mother forgot it was christmas.... Or maybe that
just didn't care... Never mind... I've never ever believed in these santas
things since I was.... Well... 4.... So it's okay... We don't celebrate
anything... Well... Not anything about me anyway.... I guess my parents just
want to forget that I ever existed.... But I don't mind.... I wasn't supposed to
be born anyway... Merry christmas.... Sorry... I'm not christian so I forget
that I shouldn't talk about sad things on christmas... But I don't find it
really sad... Really ^^ Merry merry merry christmas!
You do? You are really talented in everything Eli-chan
I dont know how to make anything TT^TT
Needles are dangerous Eli-chan! Always be careful
It's okay Elizabeth
I'm just happy that you took the time
And I'm ok if it's anything that you made
It's a lovely card
You are not a mistake Elizabeth...... you are a precious person to me..... and a
precious daughter to God and a precious person to everybody else around
you
I know that you can do better and better as you go on
I have no doubt that you'll become even more of a wonderful person
Dont get jealous Eli-chan
You can do much more greater things
I dont really like santa..... he reminds me of..... hatred........
And I'm sorry but to tell you the truth.... I'm glad that you didn't make me the
santa one
You are the most important person to me..........
So we can celebrate it together
I dont really celebrate Christmas anymore..... I just celebrate it for Jesus's
birth..
And it is a happy day that Jesus came to die for us.........
Well that sounds quite sad but it's happy
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 08:39pm
Quote by 95Elizabeth
This is the worse... christmas ever! No... Actually... All the Christmases are
bad...
My mother just gave me a lecture about my vocal test! And that just made me
0.0000345mm from committing suicide!
What was I supposed to do?! The examiner asked me sight reading when I was
supposed to do music knowledge! Was I supposed to know something I never
learnt?! And whenever she's angry she always calls me by my full name... And
saying my first name with my father's last name annoys me like hell...
I feel like touching a needle! And the better thing is I sleep for a 100 years!
No! I sleep for a 1000 years! No! FOREVER!
Don't like to me... You're always telling I'm important to everyone else around
me but it's obvious that I'm not even close to that....
My parents lied to me for 10 years.... And I don't find that a sweet memory....
When my father told my half brother he had a younger sister he completely
ignored my existence.... I hate lies... So don't tell me I'm important to god
when I'm not... I ruined a whole family's life.... My father's first wife cried
pools when she heard I was born... I got my father and his children in an
argument... Everyday... Every minute my mother cries and tells me "If only
you didn't exists... If only you were never born! I wouldn't have a demon for a
child!" She tells me that... So much that it was the only sentence that
ever went through my head... My father stresses out a lot.... He has to take
care of two families... And so many times I've heard them talk about abandoning
me... The times I've heard them quarrel... About who should keep me...
So don't tell me something that's fake..... I hate lies... I hate lies the
most...
Don't tell me I can do much more greater things when I know I can't.....
Singing... I can't even get merit.... Acting... Kane's always part of the
spotlight... Netball... Kane can beat me by a long shot.... I know because the
netballers asked me to not play the second half and let kane play...
Intelligence... Ian always wins.... Sports.... I suck.... Drawing... Natalie is
always a competition... Writing.... There's always Madeleine... Designing....
Aiko's always there to shine brighter than me.... And even at being god's
daughter.... Jack the ripper is more important that me... He has a zillion
websites about him... So don't lie....
Unfortunate... I finished the santa clothes.... Never mind... It's not like
it'll be any good anyway... Amelia beats me at it...
And I'm so useless I don't even understand myself... I smile when I don't know
what I'm happy about... I cry when I want to and never because I have to...
Well I blame your parents..... You did nothing wrong
And it doesnt matter to me what your parents think........
I love you and if your parents dont like it....... that's too bad
Elizabeth..... I know that you can.......
I just know it....... so dont worry or get frustrated
I know that you are an awesome person and you can do so many things
You just have to work hard and believe
And there are people with different talents
I bet all your friends aren't even half as good as you at singing
I'll always take care of you
Because you really are the most important.......
So dont cry inside........
And you know Elizabeth...... God loves you much more than I can ever love
you.......
You might not believe it but you are his precious daughter.......
You cannot be compared to any jewel or riches in the world.......
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 09:08pm
Quote by 95Elizabeth
I wish that I could believe that.... But I probably forgot how to trust... Or
maybe I just forgot how to think... cause right now I feel hollow.... I'm so
stupid! I lost my brain!
I'm not crying inside.... I'm not... I'm definitely not... I'm sure I won't ever
cry... Not inside... not outside... I'm not crying... I'm not a coward...
You know... I drew myself a bloody red eye crying blood for a christmas
present... heh... weird gift... I look like a ghost you know... Cause my fringe
covers my face and my hair reaches my hips when my hair is wet and I sound a lot
like a ghost too... tehe... I scared the soul out of my cousin yesterday... I'm
so mean! Well I just remembered jigoku shoujo and I felt like I had to do
it!
It's okay Elizabeth..... you dont have to believe
Because it's still going to remain the truth
I'll always love you and God will always love you
Well Elizabeth.... if you dont admit that you are sad when you are, that's being
a coward too you know
You can always tell me when you are feeling down.....
Wow I would've.......... well..... that sounds a bit.....
Well... I still would've liked anything you drew
Although I would prefer a drawing of you smiling
That does sound scary
I thought you needed red eyes and vodoo dolls to be like Jigoku Shoujo
My room is filled with voodoo dolls... And I can be really cold if I want to...
Though I don't sing sakura uta very well...
Sad...? Okay.... I'm so sad I wanna die! happy? In fact! I'm always sad! Since I
was 4!
aw thank you so much for the lovely card Vatican-kun :3 and about what you said
well if I can help I will help I am glad that somehow I managed to help you out
in the past
and don`t hesitate to ask me in the future ne =)
so in return for your kind gesture here is a card from me as well
Best Wishes for Christmas and the New Year!
I wish you & your loved ones a Season of joy and harmony in 2008!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Quote by vatican92
Well I blame your parents..... You did nothing wrong
And it doesnt matter to me what your parents think........
I love you and if your parents dont like it....... that's too bad
Elizabeth..... I know that you can.......
I just know it....... so dont worry or get frustrated
I know that you are an awesome person and you can do so many things
You just have to work hard and believe
And there are people with different talents
I bet all your friends aren't even half as good as you at singing
I'll always take care of you
Because you really are the most important.......
So dont cry inside........
And you know Elizabeth...... God loves you much more than I can ever love
you.......
You might not believe it but you are his precious daughter.......
You cannot be compared to any jewel or riches in the world.......
I wish that I could believe that.... But I probably forgot how to trust... Or
maybe I just forgot how to think... cause right now I feel hollow.... I'm so
stupid! I lost my brain!
I'm not crying inside.... I'm not... I'm definitely not... I'm sure I won't ever
cry... Not inside... not outside... I'm not crying... I'm not a coward...
You know... I drew myself a bloody red eye crying blood for a christmas
present... heh... weird gift... I look like a ghost you know... Cause my fringe
covers my face and my hair reaches my hips when my hair is wet and I sound a lot
like a ghost too... tehe... I scared the soul out of my cousin yesterday... I'm
so mean! Well I just remembered jigoku shoujo and I felt like I had to do it!
Quote by vatican92
You do? You are really talented in everything Eli-chan
I dont know how to make anything TT^TT
Needles are dangerous Eli-chan! Always be careful
It's okay Elizabeth
I'm just happy that you took the time
And I'm ok if it's anything that you made
It's a lovely card
You are not a mistake Elizabeth...... you are a precious person to me..... and a
precious daughter to God and a precious person to everybody else around
you
I know that you can do better and better as you go on
I have no doubt that you'll become even more of a wonderful person
Dont get jealous Eli-chan
You can do much more greater things
I dont really like santa..... he reminds me of..... hatred........
And I'm sorry but to tell you the truth.... I'm glad that you didn't make me the
santa one
You are the most important person to me..........
So we can celebrate it together
I dont really celebrate Christmas anymore..... I just celebrate it for Jesus's
birth..
And it is a happy day that Jesus came to die for us.........
Well that sounds quite sad but it's happy
This is the worse... christmas ever! No... Actually... All the Christmases are
bad...
My mother just gave me a lecture about my vocal test! And that just made me
0.0000345mm from committing suicide!
What was I supposed to do?! The examiner asked me sight reading when I was
supposed to do music knowledge! Was I supposed to know something I never
learnt?! And whenever she's angry she always calls me by my full name... And
saying my first name with my father's last name annoys me like hell...
I feel like touching a needle! And the better thing is I sleep for a 100 years!
No! I sleep for a 1000 years! No! FOREVER!
Don't like to me... You're always telling I'm important to everyone else around
me but it's obvious that I'm not even close to that....
My parents lied to me for 10 years.... And I don't find that a sweet memory....
When my father told my half brother he had a younger sister he completely
ignored my existence.... I hate lies... So don't tell me I'm important to god
when I'm not... I ruined a whole family's life.... My father's first wife cried
pools when she heard I was born... I got my father and his children in an
argument... Everyday... Every minute my mother cries and tells me "If only
you didn't exists... If only you were never born! I wouldn't have a demon for a
child!" She tells me that... So much that it was the only sentence that
ever went through my head... My father stresses out a lot.... He has to take
care of two families... And so many times I've heard them talk about abandoning
me... The times I've heard them quarrel... About who should keep me...
So don't tell me something that's fake..... I hate lies... I hate lies the
most...
Don't tell me I can do much more greater things when I know I can't.....
Singing... I can't even get merit.... Acting... Kane's always part of the
spotlight... Netball... Kane can beat me by a long shot.... I know because the
netballers asked me to not play the second half and let kane play...
Intelligence... Ian always wins.... Sports.... I suck.... Drawing... Natalie is
always a competition... Writing.... There's always Madeleine... Designing....
Aiko's always there to shine brighter than me.... And even at being god's
daughter.... Jack the ripper is more important that me... He has a zillion
websites about him... So don't lie....
Unfortunate... I finished the santa clothes.... Never mind... It's not like
it'll be any good anyway... Amelia beats me at it...
And I'm so useless I don't even understand myself... I smile when I don't know
what I'm happy about... I cry when I want to and never because I have to...
I know how to make dollies too! I made a few... But most of them look two
round... heh... And they look like.... Either eggs or snow men... I tried to
make the christmas card for you with a picture of a santa claus doll... But I
didn't finish the santa in time... And I got pierced by the needle a lot...
tehe....
Sorry... It's not very good... My photoshop wasn't working... So I had to use
ordinary paint program....
Merry christmas.... thanks for the card... I'm not offended... I was just a bit
grumpy then... I wasn't in a good mood.... My mother was complaining about what
a mistake I am... And I fell like a zillion times... And I just got a pass for
my vocal test.... I got honors last year... Not to mention one of the porcelain
dolls broke... And Kane was chosen as captain of the netball team.... I wasn't
exactly happy about that... heh... I
get jealous... tehe... Maybe my mother forgot it was christmas.... Or maybe that
just didn't care... Never mind... I've never ever believed in these santas
things since I was.... Well... 4.... So it's okay... We don't celebrate
anything... Well... Not anything about me anyway.... I guess my parents just
want to forget that I ever existed.... But I don't mind.... I wasn't supposed to
be born anyway... Merry christmas.... Sorry... I'm not christian so I forget
that I shouldn't talk about sad things on christmas... But I don't find it
really sad... Really ^^ Merry merry merry christmas!
hiiii Vatican ^^
so sorry, i'll reply to your GB post as soon as i can...
but for now i'm sending you this card ne ^^ Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New
Year
your welcome!~ ^^ thanks you for yours as well!~
hope you had a great christmas!~ ^^
thanks. hope you have a good one too. take it easy.
hiya vatican92
thanks
thank you for the sweet comment and i also want to say thanks for faving my wall Musical Symphony
i really appreciate it and im glad you like my wall
i hope you have a lovely day and take care -waves- ^^
I was waiting for your reply... didn't see your post above rika's.... Sorry....
....You're so sweet... TT^TT
but didn't you ask me to tell you if I'm sad?
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 10:34pm
Sorry... I'll be happy if you want me to! ^_^
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 10:47pm
I never fake!
Who said I fake?
merged: 12-25-2007 ~ 10:48pm
....You know.... You'll live fine without me ^_^
I just noticed that... No... Noticed that for quite a while! Just didn't wanna admit
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,Vatican-kun!
Thank you very much for the wonderful card!
I hope that you will have a great days and a wonderful live,forever!
May joy be always in your heart.
your welcome
aww, thanks a bunch
-huggles-
hope you have a nice day~^^
hehe i was talking about a different brother, i have two brothers, the young five year old one and the thirteen year old one. i wrestle around and play alot with the youngest, but the older one is ok too, i used to play alot with him and give him many piggy backs though when he was a lil baby. hehe ^^ but it's a fact that the lil one is a bundle of joy, at least to me. he always manages to make me smile even when i'm bugged. like when i'm angry and he goes "Sara?" and i ignore him, he comes over and pats my arm and says "You're so cute" and me "awwwwwww" *melting*
so you see,
he just knows how to flatter me and make me laugh and smile 
but he does
bring out my motherly side too, cuz i took care of him alot when he was younger.
besides, he also softened my nature, i only started using endearments after he
was born, so yea ^^
hmmm i think alot of our teachers don't care if you sleep or not but they don't let you cuz it's against the rules to sleep in class
but we did
many fun things in class 
usually in
eleventh grade though i didn't take part of the fun, always too busy in class
writing my stories...but in tenth grade we'd make small tiny paper balls and
place them on the desk, aim, and flick it over to someone 
we passed
notes, played chinese whispers, passed food under the desks...got in trouble for
it 
but yea,
school times were fun. the students here are rather rude when they want to be,
so they answer teachers back and so on, rather funny. of course there was the
cheating during tests, the small scraps of paper with answers written on
them...sometimes there was the stealing of exam papers...which in the end was
found out but it was a lil toooooo late for that 
of course
being me, i always helped out my friends and shared my exam answers with them
when the teacher wasn't looking, never thought there would be benefits out of
it...but i really believe that what you study for you get, even if yuo had the
exam paper and studied for it, you're not destined to get an A. cheating and
stealing are wrong, and we all tend to pay the price. 
...of course
i never stole the paper or cheated from anyone..so don't get any ideas 
oooh well i usually read in my mind too, it's much faster, but we need to practice! so at times i read a lil aloud. usually in whispers loud enough for me to hear myself read. it's actually pretty fun. i enjoy hearing the different ways my tone changes and so on. i even put on a different accent for someone or talk harsher for a bad guy or something...so it's fun and amusing ^^
Adham likes to hear me read...sometimes he comes and gets his kiddy books and says "Sara read this for me" but that was before...now he's soooo occupied playing PS2 24/7....so unhealthy but he's spoiled so no one can tell him anything ^^"
you know something Ju? i was just never all that when i was younger. everytime i remember that, everytime i accomplish something i thank God a million times for helping me become a better person. in my opinion, God was the one who gave me a chance to better myself and of course when we're talking beauty-wise, of course it was God who gave me the looks.
my mother's
very pretty, when we walk together, many people ask if she's my sister. so it's
cool ^^
you wouldn't believe me but i seriously wasn't a pretty girl every before i like turned 17...i'm so dead serious but no one believes me, they all think i'm being modest or exaggerating but i'm not. as a kid i was always always made fun off. what happened was i was a very cute kid, looked alot like my youngest brother, but then somewhere in second grade i kinda broke my nose in second grade...fell down the stairs or something. and dad being dad he told mother there was no need to go to a doctor and that my nose will be ok. well it wasn't ok. up till i turned 17 my nose was the worst! i never liked my nose, then again i never liked anything about me. i was just an unpretty girl. not ugly, but just not pretty either. but then that's for the looks...my personality was just as awful!
i was very very sensitive..(then again i still am but i manage it better now) i cried over every single thing, i was a cheerful girl, i talked way too much, i always told people secrets, i trusted people so fast, i believed in people.. but that's not the worst, i was so stupid. all my teachers as a kid said i'm intelligent.
you see the principal of my brother's school now (my youngest brother) was actually my teacher when i was in elementary. and when i went to visit with her after dropping my brother off she was like "if it isn't my intelligent beauty!" and me "hehe ^^" but you see she talked about how i'm such a clever person and if my brother was like me then he would be all clever and intelligent.
thing is though, i never put the intelligence to good use. i don't remember myself then...but i just know i was horrible cuz i remember my parents mocking me and calling me names...
then...when i was around twelve...all that personality thing changed...the pride within me didn't like being mocked, i didn't want to be mocked by my parents...i didn't want to be put down...i wanted a reason to hold my head up high...and you know, i made a reason.
by sitting in front of the mirror and crying in the bathroom everyday from being mocked, i think something within me was sparked. seeing a pitiful, tear-stained face looking back just made me damn angry, then lionhearted was born. basically, she would be the strong voice inside me that pushed me forward. i was never alone, the voice was always telling me to strive for the best. i lost the ability to cry, really i didn't cry much. whenever i did, the voice cursed me senseless and got angry and yelled at me..so i never cried...then i started reading dictionaries and encyclopedias...of course that gave me the information to be better off than many. i read stories so my vocabulary and reading skills would improve... i bettered myself and to be honest, i'm proud of myself. i'm proud and confident too.
and it all gave me the faith that a person can change themselves if they wanted to... and my inspiration was my proud Lionhearted.
...and now...no one makes fun of me, no one mocks me...even if they wanted to, they have no basis on which to mock me... mwahahahahahahaha *smirks* this would be the fruit that i myself reaped, and you must know, i enjoy every bite of that fruit... afterall, i worked oh so hard...i deserve the sweet taste the fruit brings me.
but the looks i have God to thank for. really...i'm grateful from the depths of my heart that i'm growing prettier each year. mother said i would be like her, the kind of girl who gets prettier as she grows older. which is well and good, afterall us women need the looks as we grow older ne
yea, no one is really appreciated for their talent around here either...
well
the reason...hmmm......arab culture?
thankfully though i don't think there's gonna be any wars here, seems this is a peaceful kingdom...
but you don't need anyone to appreciate your talents if you appreciate them yourself. though i do think it's nice to be appreciated by others.
women aren't mistreated, they're just not given the freedom. there's a difference
ohh...never know what you've got till its gone. true most people are like that, but personally i don't think it applies to me. i tend to appreciate the person and know his/her value to me, not gonna wait till the person's gone and sit there regretting. i guess i'm an open person, so i let people know how i feel about them, in case one of us disappears then there are rarely any regrets. i don't take those i love for granted, not for a minute, it doesn't seem right. even though most of the people i met seem to take everything for granted ^^"
i move on, at times though it feels like i only move on with half of me, while the other remains with my memories, holding on to my dearest moments... which is probably horrible really. but it doesn't really bother anyone but me...so ...it's ok if i want to sink in my own memories, i'm still moving forward in my own way. but the memories make me think "once upon a time...you treated me nicer" things like that ^^" so the memories do sometimes bother me and the person in my memories... kinda hard to explain :P ^^
i agree, i believe in God too because no way everything created itself, what created the right temperature then? what created time and the right moment? so you see, it's endless. i think everyone believes in God, everyone though calls it differently. like "The power that controls things" even when people say "fate" to me it's just like saying God ordained it and so on...but i donno... my teacher said even atheists knew there was a God. they just called it other things and pretended to be ignorant. oh well... it's not my business what anyone believes ne ^^"
i believe in heaven and hell too! well...we could close this topic though now, our religions are different...so there are alot of complications. but i happen to be Muslim just in case you were wondering ^^
when i'm hungry...i get migraines and don't do well in anything :P and thing is, during exam times i'm always hungry!
so i always
gain like two three pounds...oh yea! i get hungry for sweets 
so i have
alot of icecream and chocolates ^^"
i don't usually get sick often, but when the weather changes from like summer to winter, i do get sick. it's usually even like the same time every year, around November or so, i come down with a cold, a flu, and fever.
but usually
i don't get sick often. i think i have a strong immune system, that's cuz i
don't take much meds and let my body fight it out on normal occasions.
ohh? heheh wow do i look and seem that angelic? well i don't yell often that's for sure.. but i do get angry. usually when i do i try to ignore everything and pretend i'm not mad...the only person who has loud arguments with me is my sis..can't say it's that bad. thankfully sis and i are so close, so one sec we're arguing, and the next we're hugging. so it's ok ^^
for some
reason, it's sad. why would you want your lovwer to die for a stranger when
you're sitting by the door waiting for him is beyond me! what if we had kids
too?! i wonder if our kids would appreciate their parent dying for someone so
random.. i know i wouldn't appreciate my parents acting like heroes...thank but
leave the heroic acts to the cops. -/////-
the other person i yell at is my older brother at times. but it's true, i don't really shout much. and with friends, if i'm angry i walk off or just ignore them and start reading. but then again my friends never really do anything to make me angry
i don't think i'd regret killing someone who is a potential harm, i'd regret not getting rid of the danger and allowing it to steal the life of someone i love.
oh Ju, i'm not that kind, honestly. like once my Tommy and i were talking about sacrificing ourselves for the general public. simply, I WOULD NEVER! sorry, i only take bullets for those i love, not Mr. Random Stranger. i'm not willing to die for strangers, i don't think my opinion will ever change, and i will not accept my lover dying for a stranger either, i'll come close to cursing him in the grave for being a hero
..so did i shatter an illusion? did i seem like the type to stand in front of some man and protect him? now a child...well i donno..there are freakin exceptions...i'd try to save the child, but i donno...if there was a huge risk i was gonna die.....i donno really... ....i donno...
hahahahaha *hands over tissue*
they're not grudges, i don't hold grudges, but like the scar of the pain won't go away. i wouldn't be mad, the person's already forgiven...but it's hard to explain. it's just like my heart not wanting to be hurt by the same kind of pain again, so there's this barrier. and it's true, yell at me once, i'd cry cuz it hurt my feelings, when you yell the second time, i'd probably stare, maybe look sad, by the third time the yelling leaves no real emotion in me and i'm thinking "your voice is jarring"
see what i
mean? ^^
no one likes to be hurt, and being hurt so many times while growing up, this is my way of adapting to it.
hahaha both my brothers tell me if my shirt's cute! the youngest i go *cute baby voice* "Is the shirt cute?!" and him "yes" and me "nyaaaaaaaaaa!" then the older one i say *curious serious questino* "is the shirt really nice?" and my brother *Chokes* "umm...yes it is..." and me "ok then thanks ^^"
i think he
likes me saying 'nyaaaaaaa' and so on. but he likes messing up my hair 
my youngest though tells me i'm cute alot
hahah thanks for forgiving me Mr. Generous brother
^^
take care and it was fun talking to you as usual ^^
hope to hear from you soon!
Sincerely,
Sara
P.S. have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ^^
lol
i
now what you mean 
it was soo cute, how could i not
same to you as well
hope you have a lovely day~^^
My room is filled with voodoo dolls... And I can be really cold if I want to... Though I don't sing sakura uta very well...
Sad...? Okay.... I'm so sad I wanna die! happy? In fact! I'm always sad! Since I was 4!
your welcome
same to you as well
im sorry
-huggles-
same to you as well
and thanks for the major cute card
its soo cute
hope you have a nice day~^^
aw thank you so much for the lovely card Vatican-kun :3 and about what you said
ne =)
well if I can help I will help I am glad that somehow I managed to help you out in the past
and don`t hesitate to ask me in the future
so in return for your kind gesture here is a card from me as well
Best Wishes for Christmas and the New Year!
I wish you & your loved ones a Season of joy and harmony in 2008!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Merry Christmas to you too!
Thanks for a very nice postcard.
I wish that I could believe that.... But I probably forgot how to trust... Or maybe I just forgot how to think... cause right now I feel hollow.... I'm so stupid! I lost my brain!
I'm not crying inside.... I'm not... I'm definitely not... I'm sure I won't ever cry... Not inside... not outside... I'm not crying... I'm not a coward...
You know... I drew myself a bloody red eye crying blood for a christmas present... heh... weird gift... I look like a ghost you know... Cause my fringe covers my face and my hair reaches my hips when my hair is wet and I sound a lot like a ghost too... tehe... I scared the soul out of my cousin yesterday... I'm so mean! Well I just remembered jigoku shoujo and I felt like I had to do it!
Merry Christmas!
Hello vatican92! Just passing by to wish you a
and a happy new year!
This is the worse... christmas ever! No... Actually... All the Christmases are bad...
My mother just gave me a lecture about my vocal test! And that just made me 0.0000345mm from committing suicide!
What was I supposed to do?! The examiner asked me sight reading when I was supposed to do music knowledge! Was I supposed to know something I never learnt?! And whenever she's angry she always calls me by my full name... And saying my first name with my father's last name annoys me like hell...
I feel like touching a needle! And the better thing is I sleep for a 100 years! No! I sleep for a 1000 years! No! FOREVER!
Don't like to me... You're always telling I'm important to everyone else around me but it's obvious that I'm not even close to that....
My parents lied to me for 10 years.... And I don't find that a sweet memory....
When my father told my half brother he had a younger sister he completely ignored my existence.... I hate lies... So don't tell me I'm important to god when I'm not... I ruined a whole family's life.... My father's first wife cried pools when she heard I was born... I got my father and his children in an argument... Everyday... Every minute my mother cries and tells me "If only you didn't exists... If only you were never born! I wouldn't have a demon for a child!" She tells me that... So much that it was the only sentence that ever went through my head... My father stresses out a lot.... He has to take care of two families... And so many times I've heard them talk about abandoning me... The times I've heard them quarrel... About who should keep me...
So don't tell me something that's fake..... I hate lies... I hate lies the most...
Don't tell me I can do much more greater things when I know I can't..... Singing... I can't even get merit.... Acting... Kane's always part of the spotlight... Netball... Kane can beat me by a long shot.... I know because the netballers asked me to not play the second half and let kane play... Intelligence... Ian always wins.... Sports.... I suck.... Drawing... Natalie is always a competition... Writing.... There's always Madeleine... Designing.... Aiko's always there to shine brighter than me.... And even at being god's daughter.... Jack the ripper is more important that me... He has a zillion websites about him... So don't lie....
Unfortunate... I finished the santa clothes.... Never mind... It's not like it'll be any good anyway... Amelia beats me at it...
And I'm so useless I don't even understand myself... I smile when I don't know what I'm happy about... I cry when I want to and never because I have to...
HAHA ! So cute !
Merry Christmas , Vati !
Thank you for the lovely card. ^^
May your wishes come true on New Year's Day.
Merry Merry Christmas to you!
..
Oh and Santa got struck down by those fireworks last night so he's a lil banged up..
awww, thanks
-huggles- 
oh, no, i should be thanking you
thanks a bunch
-huggles some more- 
also, merry christmas
hope you have a wonderful christmas with many gifts and smiling faces
hope you have a joyful holiday and a prosperous new year
all the best, happy holidays~^^
I know how to make dollies too! I made a few... But most of them look two round... heh... And they look like.... Either eggs or snow men... I tried to make the christmas card for you with a picture of a santa claus doll... But I didn't finish the santa in time... And I got pierced by the needle a lot... tehe....
I
get jealous... tehe... Maybe my mother forgot it was christmas.... Or maybe that
just didn't care... Never mind... I've never ever believed in these santas
things since I was.... Well... 4.... So it's okay... We don't celebrate
anything... Well... Not anything about me anyway.... I guess my parents just
want to forget that I ever existed.... But I don't mind.... I wasn't supposed to
be born anyway... Merry christmas.... Sorry... I'm not christian so I forget
that I shouldn't talk about sad things on christmas... But I don't find it
really sad... Really ^^ Merry merry merry christmas!
Sorry... It's not very good... My photoshop wasn't working... So I had to use ordinary paint program....
Merry christmas.... thanks for the card... I'm not offended... I was just a bit grumpy then... I wasn't in a good mood.... My mother was complaining about what a mistake I am... And I fell like a zillion times... And I just got a pass for my vocal test.... I got honors last year... Not to mention one of the porcelain dolls broke... And Kane was chosen as captain of the netball team.... I wasn't exactly happy about that... heh...
Merry Christmas!
hiiii Vatican ^^
so sorry, i'll reply to your GB post as soon as i can...
but for now i'm sending you this card ne ^^
Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
hope you have a wonderful x'mas holiday!~ ^^
norine!~
AWWWWWWW! Thank you Vatican! That's so sweet!
I love it!
It's adorable! Heh heh, I feel loved! 
merged: 12-24-2007 ~ 11:40am
Omg, by the way. I love your video! Both the song and the anime are two of my favorites!