You WONT BELIVE HOW I SPOKE TO TODAY!
Aaron! yeah thats right Aaron.
gosh its been so longgg!
yaya:)
but now i feal kinda crappy......now that i thnk about it.
but in truth i missed the kid.
tehehehe i spoke to him yaya.
*giggils*
Quote by micey02[quot(...)
yeahhhh*dancing around*
lol anywho what are you doing right now? i just woke up from a scary dream and a
sad dream today *weeps* what a bad omen. i think i'll get in trouble tomorrow
waaah
sorry for late comment but i went to church and had fun...why do you think your
getting in trouble?
oh lol i see ^-^. i don't go to church anymore =p
something serious happened at the bus stop and if the school finds out....me and
my friends r dead..
ohhhhh if you do believe in god then pray that you don't get in trouble and if
you don't still do the same thing ^_^ do your best yeahhhhhh
Quote: NO! i dont want a tree! I have no where to put it!
Yeesh...
No, I am really happy! What more should I ask of life?! I have friends, family,
good health (as far as i know), and I mean, I'm have talents that I
love...they're just hidden somewhere...but I am happy!
Really!
u would loooooove one . and it'll
be all fluffy and cuuuute.
see salmie, i don't believe u.
u're not happy.
if u were happy, u wouldn't still be thinking of him like u do. if u were happy,
u would be giving me 100% salmie smile. so u're not happy. nope nope u're
not
argh...why must my friends me so stubborn?! jk
jk!
I am happy! Honestly! I...i dont really think of him...it's just a sigh type of
thinking...like gee, i wonder how he's doing...or something...i dont really
think sadly anymore....I am happy! And...i dont know what my 200% salmie smile
is...
lol anywho what are you doing right now? i just woke up from a scary dream and a
sad dream today *weeps* what a bad omen. i think i'll get in trouble tomorrow
waaah
sorry for late comment but i went to church and had fun...why do you think your
getting in trouble?
Quote: aii i didnt see the last part...wha?! nooooooo dont
buy it forme! i dont like it that much! seriously! it has these little fruit
thingies that attract bugs and you know how much i hate bugs!
yeah! ...why shouldnt i be happy...?
......it's either that or a baby tree
well i'm not saying u should stop being happy if u feel happy but...i mean, ur
not right? a love one running off to canada isn't something to be happy
about...but if u truly r, which i know ur not, then u shouldn't
pretend...
NO! i dont want a tree! I have no where to put
it! Yeesh...
No, I am really happy! What more should I ask of life?! I have friends, family,
good health (as far as i know), and I mean, I'm have talents that I
love...they're just hidden somewhere...but I am happy! Really!
Quote by micey02[quot(...) a nice drawing
. she has long hair O_O
thank you she's a water godess
:nya: how cool! umm...lets see...i don't have anything to reward u with so i'll
give u a big cwookie * hand u a chocolate, melt in ur mouth, aunt-made, 5-class
cookie*
lol how r u?
im fine thank you for the cookie *munch-munch* its delicious ne i see your
doing well.
im fine thank you for the cookie *munch-munch* its delicious ne i see your
doing well.
yes i am, just really bored since it's morning and no one is up =\.
hehe i just downloaded firefox (singing).
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 11:12pm
Quote:
yeah i miss new york do you have fun there and if i guess its 9:59 about to turn
10:00 o clock
u once lived in new york? cool
lmao yeah ur good . but since i'm replying so late (gomen na sai) it's like 11:15 right
now
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 11:32pm
Quote:
yeah i live in texas now but i miss new york alot so cool so which part of new
york do you live in
i live in the bronx. lmao not a pleasant place to live but i guess it's not that
bad since i live in the north bronx and not the south . i
never even went to the south bronx. my mom is afraid a rapist/stalker will kill
me lmao
yeah thats kind of the same when you walk alone down an alley in brooklyn lol
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 11:39pm
would you like to be friends ?(adds to friends list) we are already though mind
that
Hey Misa! Again i sawyour comment on my page but i cant reply...anyhow, yes yes
i want you to come but you cant on Monday! Because my mommy said that neither
her nor daddy will be at home so no...she doesnt trust me...boohoo...anyhow,
where was i...yeah, i read up on it on the computer. Making a biohabitat in my
backyard! JUst continue growing the weeds (i found poison ivy in my backyard!
time to put it down Clarence's back! Muahaha...meanie...)...and get some natural
flowers (as in wild flowers) and...my lifelong dream...GET A TUPELA TREE! AND A
GARDENIA! FREAK I WAS THIS CLOSE TO GETTING A TUPELA! THIS CLOSE! so what if it
costs 50 bucks?! i dont care! It smells so good...and i talked with it...
andd...to have the pond, first i gotta dig a really deep ditch, andt hen i
simply put like cement or bricks or something on the bottom and fiill it with
water. Wonderful...that way birds will come! yippee! And i will talk with them
too!
merged: 06-01-2007 ~ 06:20am
hehe...i just heard a really nice song...no i didnt like it but i liked the
meaning...life is what you make it to be...and i realized how true it is...just
because he left...doesnt mean i should be sad...my life isnt sad...i am making
it sad...
Quote by phoenixalcottHey Misa!
Again i sawyour comment on my page but i cant reply...anyhow, yes yes i want you
to come but you cant on Monday! Because my mommy said that neither her nor daddy
will be at home so no...she doesnt trust me...boohoo...anyhow, where was
i...yeah, i read up on it on the computer. Making a biohabitat in my backyard!
JUst continue growing the weeds (i found poison ivy in my backyard! time to put
it down Clarence's back! Muahaha...meanie...)...and get some natural flowers (as
in wild flowers) and...my lifelong dream...GET A TUPELA TREE! AND A GARDENIA!
FREAK I WAS THIS CLOSE TO GETTING A TUPELA! THIS CLOSE! so what if it costs 50
bucks?! i dont care! It smells so good...and i talked with it... andd...to have
the pond, first i gotta dig a really deep ditch, andt hen i simply put like
cement or bricks or something on the bottom and fiill it with water.
Wonderful...that way birds will come! yippee! And i will talk with them too!
merged: 06-01-2007 ~ 06:20am
hehe...i just heard a really nice song...no i didnt like it but i liked the
meaning...life is what you make it to be...and i realized how true it is...just
because he left...doesnt mean i should be sad...my life isnt sad...i am making
it sad...
aww that sucks . crot no fair! i wish i could go.
wait why rn't u going to pull the weeds? why r u gonna keep them? omg poison
ivy! that's so meeeean
salmie! has clarence done something wrong recently or something?
lol maybe me and natashie should find u a tupela tree for ur b-day. how
delightful! then it'll be allll uuuurs kawaaaaiiii .
how r u going to find cement?
what is the song called?
well...that's true but it's okay for u to feel sad if that is how u feel. i
mean, u can't make urself happy when ur not. for situations like this u can
either choose to dwell on the past or decide to move on.
yea it does! BUt im gonna beeeeeeeegggg till you guys can! And hehe, I wont pull
the weeds because they are all part of a natural, wild, untamed environment.
Very natural...i know it's mean! But you see, i like just thinking of funny
things to do to him...hehe, well...no not really...i just got angry abt how he
said that he's glad abt Ali.
Noooooooooooooooo! NOOOOO! i wanna work hard to get the money! Dont buy it for
me! I mean, itll mean a lot to me, but dont take the trouble! it's expensive!
And...well i know you will be like "i dont care" so ill say dont get
it for me because i wont appreciate it as much if i didnt put my sweat and blood
into it...
Eh, I am gonna go to Home Depot or something and get some mesh typa thingie to
keep the water in. Cement is tooooooooo expensive...T-T i feel poor...but that's
alright! I must learn to work hard!
The song is called...i think "Life's what you make it" or
something...
That is true too...but i shouldn't be overly sad! Right?
Quote: yea it does! BUt im gonna beeeeeeeegggg till you guys
can! And hehe, I wont pull the weeds because they are all part of a natural,
wild, untamed environment. Very natural...i know it's mean! But you see, i like
just thinking of funny things to do to him...hehe, well...no not really...i just
got angry abt how he said that he's glad abt Ali.
Noooooooooooooooo! NOOOOO! i wanna work hard to get the money! Dont buy it for
me! I mean, itll mean a lot to me, but dont take the trouble! it's expensive!
And...well i know you will be like "i dont care" so ill say dont get
it for me because i wont appreciate it as much if i didnt put my sweat and blood
into it...
Eh, I am gonna go to Home Depot or something and get some mesh typa thingie to
keep the water in. Cement is tooooooooo expensive...T-T i feel poor...but that's
alright! I must learn to work hard!
The song is called...i think "Life's what you make it" or
something...
That is true too...but i shouldn't be overly sad! Right?
ah i see. just thought it might be burdensome to go around all the roots and
weeds when u could just pull them out
omg i can't believe he said that?! what a fucken beeper! what is his prob? god
don't give him poison ivy, challenge him to a duel.....oh beep, nvm, i don't
think we should fight over there anymore. i really hope that boy was okay...i
think motushi felt so bad that she was about to cry.... *figets* ...even though
she did hit him, it was by accident...
yeah well, nvm, i dont care. Clarence was trying ot talk with me a lot
lately...i feel bad...i dunno...i want him to come to his senses though and ask
me why i am mad. ill say it straight out.
yeah i hope that kid was okay! i felt like crying! poor kiddie...hes gonna be
scared of me now...he wont like me...HELL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE! THE SSADNESS!
yeah...i felt that Motushi was abt to cry...god...i hope hes okay...
Quote: yea it does! BUt im gonna beeeeeeeegggg till you guys
can! And hehe, I wont pull the weeds because they are all part of a natural,
wild, untamed environment. Very natural...i know it's mean! But you see, i like
just thinking of funny things to do to him...hehe, well...no not really...i just
got angry abt how he said that he's glad abt Ali.
Noooooooooooooooo! NOOOOO! i wanna work hard to get the money! Dont buy it for
me! I mean, itll mean a lot to me, but dont take the trouble! it's expensive!
And...well i know you will be like "i dont care" so ill say dont get
it for me because i wont appreciate it as much if i didnt put my sweat and blood
into it...
Eh, I am gonna go to Home Depot or something and get some mesh typa thingie to
keep the water in. Cement is tooooooooo expensive...T-T i feel poor...but that's
alright! I must learn to work hard!
The song is called...i think "Life's what you make it" or
something...
That is true too...but i shouldn't be overly sad! Right?
ah i see. just thought it might be burdensome to go around all the roots and
weeds when u could just pull them out
omg i can't believe he said that?! what a fucken beeper! what is his prob? god
don't give him poison ivy, challenge him to a duel.....oh beep, nvm, i don't
think we should fight over there anymore. i really hope that boy was okay...i
think motushi felt so bad that she was about to cry.... *figets* ...even though
she did hit him, it was by accident...
i wanna buy it for u. i'm gonna ask natashie to help . tee
hee whether u like it or not i know i'll make u happy
mesh? lmao home depo .
nyahahaha!
i should listen to it
...well u shouldn't be happy...
aii i didnt see the last
part...wha?! nooooooo dont buy it forme! i dont like it that much! seriously! it
has these little fruit thingies that attract bugs and you know how much i hate
bugs!
hi. saw your comment on my page...im not bored....i have some work to
do...actually...tons of work...thinking of making a pond in my backyard...i want
you to come to my place...it really looks like a forest in my
backyard...really...so gorgeous...
You want to join this group?
Kinda lacking members and thought you might kinda like this theme
Elizabeth already there and gonna invite Aaliyah as well
yes arrent you proud of me i made banners! yessss ill make more and stuf cuz i
am sick and stoned off medicine. like really stoned. i am seeing colors and
stuf.
anyway. um baaaaaaaaa! and what do you meen by dont freek people with
banners?
oh tell natasha i say hi tomorow kayy.
Quote by marmaladeboyfani know
this has been a while but i was wondering if u finished the wallflower
layout?
yup finishing~ sorry for taking so long, just finished my exams...
just need to add a few more touches and done, will be done by sat~ ^-^
sorry for taking a really really long time!
Quote:
Killing....... that only sounds easy........ but I know that I really can't kill
someone....... the only person that I really tried to kill was myself but I gave
that up.......
........... you sound like a teacher Marisa........ or a mother........
They.......
They don't leave me alone.......... every single day...... it's the same
I nothing but a puppet to them..........
And sometimes I hate myself....... because I'm only dedicated to the people I
love and I won't give a damn to what happens to others.........
I can't help it sometimes........
My mother...... was saying how democracy is so great with freedom and bla
And I told her that democracy only full of selfish people that don't care even
if someone is dying right next to them.... so I told her it would be better off
with communism
And she's going on with the N.Korea thing and no freedom there bla
And I told her that wasn't true communism.... I told her that was
dictatorship/facism not communism where everybody is equal
But........ I know..... that true communism cannot exist because there is always
discrimination and humanity's sin nature that leads them back to sin
again......
But I still have hope...... even if it's less than 1%
Everybody fears that most...... what if I go to hell when I'm
dead.......
Because Marisa....... if we have nothing, we have nothing to lose
If there isn't happiness, there wouldn't be sadness either
If there wasn't life, there wouldn't be death either.......
Does that make sense? It's not worth it........ because eventually......
Everything will disappear.......
I just can't stand....... so many things happening around me.....
So what if I am happy? What about all the other people?
Just because I'm happy....... is that enough?......... I don't think
so.......
1inch........ guess it's popular for girls to grow nails....... and hair.......
my nails never got longer than........ about 4mm...... dunno if you know metric
system but I don't know inches either...... although I know that 1inch is 2.54cm
so I know how long your nails would be
Yeah you really should...... sometimes playing an instrument makes you forget
about all the bad things and focus on what you have right now........
At least I can forget about right now.......
that's horrible! u don't think like that now do you?
mother huh...? ....thanks for making me sound older...now 3 people said it -.-
(sniffle). can anyone explain how though? i mean....am i that old? (runs to the
mirror to check for baggy eyes and wrinkles - lol just kidding)
who? people or u parents? hmm i wonder if u ever noticed...that in some ways all
of us r puppets....
i can't help it either. ur right. that feeling is disgusting. but it's the best
i can do. i mean i can't love everybody....there will be some that hurt me and
some i hate where that isn't possible. but u're talking about the innocent
people who have to deal with things like poverty, and aid and so on.. right?
hmm... i don't know... i want to help them as well....but i can't if i don't
know them. it's like showing affection to another they haven't met. but now
since i've experienced things...i don't tolerate alcholics and suicidals. both
of those things r ways to escape life. and i dislike the thought of people
running away from life by taking their body with them.
ur an interesting kid.....u're the first person i've ever known who said they
rather have communism than democracy. i don't know much about politics but i
know i would rather have democracy. from the way u say it, communism can never
work becuz of the people, but in general the beliefs r good....i think it's the
same for democracy....democracy is a good thing, it's the people who run it.
then goes the questions, what controls the government? is it always the people?
hmm...see i can't understand how u could be comforted by that....thinking one
day u'll go to a heaven (which i imagine is scary) or even a hell.... i think we
just die.
lmao but sorry, u sound like naveah in natashie's story. okay, now that i'm
calm... hmm i might sound pathetic but i rather have something than nothing. if
sadness will make me realize happiness then i want saddness too. if i came to a
close death or saw it, then it'll make me realize how precious life is.
everything holds it's place. i don't care if it disapears. i know everything
will one day disapear...but u know what? i don't want to mourn over it until the
day i die. i want to live it to the fullest so that when it's my time i can at
least say..or maybe think "this was fun" or "i had a good
time." i understand that the thought of disapearance can be scary but i
think that learning how to say goodbye is a part of life. nothing lives
forever...and i don't think i'd want it to.
and i think it's very important that u r happy. how can u help others if u're
not? u can't help others and take care of them while ur unable to take care of
urself. it would be difficult... so i think it is enough that u r happy. becuz
when u r happy, and is able to put the past behind u, u can move on and help
others who went through the same thing. and if this continues, there will be
more people who will live happy lives...and more and more until love sufforcates
u ^_^. it's always good to start small, instead of pondering of how u could
start big.
lol wow ur fingernails r short lol. yeah mine r crazy. they look like u can stab
people with them but actually their pretty dull....
that's what natashie told me too! hmm....yes it sound relaxing...since i don't
know how to play anything yet, i just sleep or go in the closet.
Think like what?........about the suicide? well I don't feel like dying anymore
Marisa........
It's because you sound mature and give good advices....... sometimes....... and
you sound like a mother because you sound like you care too much
Well........ mostly the people around me...... yeah hahahaha...... we're all
just puppets and just dolls for amusement
I wonder why........ do you think I can.......... love other people I will meet
in the future?.......... because it seems...... that it gets harder and harder
for me to love people......
Yeah you're right Marisa.....it's always the people........ sadly
But I still prefer the idea of communism.........
I hope that too....... that it'll be over when we die
And as I've said before I'm not comforted one bit.......
More....... disgusted and sick........
I understand...... everybody sees differently
The world..... the people....... even the colors.......
I think you're really funny....... not the bad way but interesting funny
Mmmm....... that sounds reasonable........... you really do give good
advices...... like teachers.......
That sounds like Conan....... killing somebody with fingernail and biting the
nails off and getting rid of the evidence and replacing the nail with artificial
ones so that nobody would notice......
Closet....... that reminds me of when I was 5..... wow...... it's really a
miracle that I can remember that far back.......
I used to hide inside the closet because I didn't want to see my
father.......
lol awwwwwwwww (hugs u) how sweeeeet. yayyy i give good advice (claps for
myself)... no, but haha yeah sometimes i do care too much....if the person
didn't know me they would that i'm some predator or something lmao
yes yes true true. u totally got it
i believe that u r a good person but life has been beating u with a stick. i
think once u feel better (i mean 100% vatican-san), u'll want to help others so
they will never have to suffer like u did. and even though u feel crappy now and
almost emotionless, later on i believe life will turn and u'll find happiness
again. so don't give up and take care of urself while u're waiting =.=.
ps. u're not the only one.....i think i'm becoming heartless too believe it or
not.....i went to a park one time and saw a little kid fall and i was thinking
of running up to him and ask if he was ok but then i got lazy and said "no,
he'll think i'm a weirdo" and in the end just sat there staring at him.
yeah i agree.....i bet my glasses r all rose colored (ever heard of that
expression?)
umm thank you....(blushing)....i'm not used to compliments haha...
that's real....interesting.....actually...i grew them for two reasons. one, cuz
i wanted to have the nails in the cover of twilight....they were all milky
smooth and pretty @_@ (yeah, that's right, the hands turned me on). and second
was becuz i thought that if i grew them long i coould stab people for
defense....but this conan dude takes it too far 0_o. i might need some lessons
from him...lol
why didn't you want to see your father? do u remember?
Yeah....... You do care too much
And you're mmm.......... weird too
Hey no hugging
I don't like being touched......... well..... but I'll let you since you're my
friend and I usually let my friends do that although I can't say that I always
like hugs......
Yeah sure....... ok.......... don't kill myself and yeah........
Me a good person? I don't think so......... Not really........
I see........ I've done that a lot too......... I just look at someone hurt and
I just space out thinking........
Millions of thoughts rushing through my brain...........
Should I help? Does that person need or want my help? What can I do.......?
And end up not helping at all.........
Nope never heard of such........ odd expression
Yeah and I only give compliments to those who actually deserve it
You mean the book twilight?.......
Yup...... nails very good for killing people...... just like rock music and
marmalade......
Yeah teh Detective Conan series is like solving mysteries......
My father....... was always an icon of fear and hatred for me since
childhood........ but I still love him
Quote:
Yeah....... You do care too much
And you're mmm.......... weird too
Hey no hugging
I don't like being touched......... well..... but I'll let you since you're my
friend and I usually let my friends do that although I can't say that I always
like hugs......
Yeah sure....... ok.......... don't kill myself and yeah........
Me a good person? I don't think so......... Not really........
I see........ I've done that a lot too......... I just look at someone hurt and
I just space out thinking........
Millions of thoughts rushing through my brain...........
Should I help? Does that person need or want my help? What can I do.......?
And end up not helping at all.........
Nope never heard of such........ odd expression
Yeah and I only give compliments to those who actually deserve it
You mean the book twilight?.......
Yup...... nails very good for killing people...... just like rock music and
marmalade......
Yeah teh Detective Conan series is like solving mysteries......
My father....... was always an icon of fear and hatred for me since
childhood........ but I still love him
* crot this is my second time writing this cuz my pc is such a bum!
hmm....i can't help it....-_- ah i guess i am weird lol
lol i don't blame u. i don't like being hugged as well...i just like giving them
^-^. everytime i hug someone, they fall to ground scared from what happened to
them. very fun . but my friends told me that was tackling so their giving me
personal lessons on how to hug "softly" and
"gently"....humph what fun is that when u can't pull them to the
ground?
i think ur a good person. u should put more faith in urself. it's funny
though....all the good people i've known so far say their evil or just not good
at all....hmm i don't think that. i believe it's their inner demon that's bad,
but then again, u need ur bad. u can't completely be good, u'll die. it's like
yin and yang. u have to have both the good and bad to be balanced. i'm just
saying that, for the most part, u have a kind (but i admit demented) heart.
hmm i don't like doing that....i feel so bad in the end that i'm selfish to not
help when they needed it just becuz i was scared. even though it sounds
irreasonable...it's how i think
mainly it's like looking at things in a bright perspective. if u wore blue
shades, then maybe life would look a bit depressing lol
ah! you know it? cool !
edward is mine! i claimed him!
lol of course of course (nods head). just like my tuxy and....heeeeeeey ol'
buddy pal! wanna pet him?
hmm would u reccomend it? what is the book called?
that sounds similiar to the relationship i had with my mom in the past....then
again i have no idea what u went through but from hearing that, it sounds
similiar.
although...what made u give him that label? did something happen?
Well so why are you tackling me to the ground?
Unless you want to give me a beatdown or something
Go ahead............ if you call that a hug
Then I get a lot of hugs...... considering how people knock me down everyday and
tries to beat me up........
Well...... those people must be lying then
I don't lie Marisa......... at least not about those things
I am what I am..........
Yeah....... I guess there must be opposite to things
Like light and darkness....... because there is darkness, we can appreciate and
notice the light and vice versa
Once more........ I DON'T HAVE ANY STINKIN DEMON IN ME! All I have inside me is
my soul........ and organs...... and blood........ and bactetias.......
bones...... pancreas........ and maye hookworms..... blablabla....... stupid
science......
Yeah sure...... I understand......... kinda.......... partially..... maybe
no........
And it also depends on your personal opinion........
I get depressed when the sun is up and I would love it if the world was actually
blue....... You see Marisa? Not everybody likes pink and hates blue
Nope........ don't know what it is....... Ami just told me about it for a bit
Edward? Sure take him.......... I'm not gay or homosexual or anything......
although I don't see the difference in those two words
Tuxy....... what kinda name is that? Portugese or something?......... weird
Yeah sure....... as long as this Tuxy creature doesn't get smart with me, I'll
play with this Tuxy creature
The book? Oh you mean Conan....... the manga is called Detective
Conan........
Well it's rather old but very academic and educational......... dunno if I
recommend it or not
Umm........ my family was always..... hostile with each other even before I was
born
And my father always getting angry...... blabla and at me..........
I just hated him........ he ruined my life........ kinda
Never understood what he was thinking........ just........ so much
hatred.........
merged: 05-16-2007 ~ 06:21pm
Quote by marmaladeboyfan
noooooo! i don't want u to diiiiie! (i take the word die to a whole other level
- it could mean dead dead, disapeared dead, knocked out for the moment dead,
zoned out dead, or sleepy/tired dead)
that's not a hug, that's a tackle. mine r a tackle of overflowing love and
affection. seeee? they r very different (nods). but why do they want to beat u
up? do u taunt them with a stick or something?
true. and yes u do! everyone does! it's my umm...metaphor for evil or
animalistic traits....like selfishness, revenge, and all of that yucky nonsense
.
ahhhhh how pleasant.....on tv i saw a 25ft tapeworm....very delightful indeed.
but i bet i'm just filled with guts and lots a bloody stuff. what a bummer .
u get depressed when the sun is showing? wooow...i just run to shadow and make a
usual comment that my friends know well..."it's too shiney."
i hate the color pink...no....i despise it it kills
me. i like dark colors for some odd reason....
lmao of course ur not! i'm just saying, no one can have him....even though he
goes for bella, i know in his heart he really wants me @_@ (yeah don't mind me
and my fantasies)...... (drools) edwarrrddddd.......kaname......kyo.....ahhhhhh
yes....all mine...tee hee hee hee! and no i'm not cheating! they r from
different books from different series!
eek no it's english. it's his nickname. his actual name is tuxedo. u know? that
black suit with a little bow tie or something...yeah tuxy looks...somewhat like
that
kawaaaaiiiii my baby! (runs and hugs him). u can play with him anytime (drags
him to pc) seee?
hmm...i don't think it's in america but i'll go check anyways..
he ruined ur life? how? hmm my parents used to fight when i a kid as
well...mostly about money problems and my dad's addiction to alcohol. i used to
think that my mom was the villan and my dad the hero.
hmm...there seems to be a lot of hatred in ur life...i wonder how u're able to
manage it all...
Huh? I don't really get knocked out........ Only die of lack of sleep according
to your definition......
No I don't do anything to them...... they tell me it's fun to hit me or
something
Weird humans
Yeah tapeworms........ not a pleasant thought
Ryougi Shiki is my only character that you can say that I "love" right
now....... and maybe also Nanaya Shiki
Yeah tuxedo...... good for killing people........
That's a frightening thought '
Cat wearing a suit.......
I prefer canines Marisa........ doggies......
Ruined...... well maybe not that but....... you know......
I think...... because I was so scared of my father..... I'm always trying to
hide my emotions and real feelings
Yeah our family was mostly about money too..... and some other family
business
And he always got angry at me too
My mother says he got some mental issues because he was also treated badly when
he was a kid because his mother treated him like a stepmother....... because my
grandmother's mother was a stepmother, she didn't really have a real mother to
be the role model
Why did you think that Marisa?....... I mean about your mother being a villain
and dad being the hero?
Hatred...... yeah
That's why I keep my emotions all locked up in there....... inside me
somewhere
And sometimes that hatred leaks out and I get angry or go crazy and all sortsa
stuff...... you should see me when I'm sad.......
I'm meaner online but I'm really mean in real life......
Quote:
Yeah....... like everybody in Korea wants respect because they know they can
never deserve it by themselves........
I'm not sure if I know that feeling....... don't really feel anything these
days.........
Yeah I understand......... it doesn't feel good when people are crying and
suffering........ but sometimes...... really...... I want to kill someone.......
because I can't restrain myself anymore....... for all they've done to me.....
and others
No I meant, why would you care what they think about you?
That reminds me....... I just argued about my mother about democracy and
communism...... and facism and dictatorship.......
Of course she can't stand up seeing her arguments are logics are...... too
shallow but...... bleh
I know........ Really...... i'm sick of violence...... although I let it out
once in a while because it feels like I'm going to burst if I
don't.......
Does it?...... because...... I don't feel like I'm truely helping people
sometimes....... I never know what people really feel because I don't even know
what I feel like...... but if you think so too then I guess you might be
right
Oh the screaming part..... that was just like...... emphasis....
description......
Yeah I know what you mean....... although I thought you said you wanted to
live......
I don't know really...... whoever I am with..... the feeling of lonliness never
goes away..... whether I'm having fun...... whether I'm laughing...... I always
have insecurity.......
I've never really appreciated my life...... If I had a choice..... if God really
gave me the choice..... I would've wished that me..... or nobody else would've
been born or created.......
Guitar is pretty easy actually..... you don't have to think too much..... you
either play the chords or you can just read notes and the flat/sharp think is
really easy because it's only moving one fret
Violin..... yeah it's really hard..... too many things to think at once
How to hold it, hand finger position, blablabla.......
Anyways you should learn an instrument too
hmm...interesting...
that's sad....i used to feel empty last year as well and the only thing i was
sure i knew was saddness... hmm, i really hope u don't kill someone for real.
even though u feel like that, do the opposite and maybe try to help them. most
people do bad things becuz they have problem that they cannot handle or becuz
their inner demon takes control over them. no matter what, i realized killing
won't resolve anything. hurting others as well...i think the only times where
it's okay to hurt is for defense, protect, and to teach.
by the way, what did they do to you that makes you feel like hurting
them?
hmm i don't know... i think it's becuz i trust them. i mean, if it's a stranger,
pfft whatever. think what they like, i know the truth. although if it's someone
i love and trust and they betray it, i get hurt becuz they backstabbed me even
though i do so much for them. i mean, rn't u supposed to love and trust ur
family? isn't that where u can go when ur lost? if they abandon u becuz of
hatred, where does that leave u? nowhere. when that happens, i can only become
wary and cautious. not only that but i have to find a new home to where i
belong. i chose a long time ago that my new home will be with my friends.
eh? what were u and ur mom's views? what were u actually talking about with
different types of government? how were they shallow? (confused)
hmm i think that's okay...only if it's once in a while. u need a break some of
the time.
weird. aww crot i mean zanky! zanky! okay, zanky... i find it zanky becuz i can
read and analyze peoples emotions better than my own. and lol, i never know if
i'm right, i always guess .
of course i want to live! i'm saying when it's my time to die when i'm all old
and have grandkids and what not, i want to die happy. and i'm not afraid of
actually dying..i more afraid of is what will happen to me when i'm dead. is
there actually an heaven and hell? does my body just really die? do i actually
go to some afterlife...thinking like that gets me terrified of death. but
dying...no...i think i can die happy and not alone.
what? why do you wish you weren't born? or wish anyone wasn't born? i'm happy of
my life, even though it's really screwed, i'm really happy i'm just living it.
if i were dead, i wouldn't be able to experience any of this. i would be dead. i
wouldn't be able to feel love, joy, anger, or even sadness. i wouldn't be able
to feel anything at all. if i were to kill myself, that would just be like
running away so i wouldn't feel anything. but i promise u, i want to feel, and
experience everything the world can give me. so if u pray to ur god again, tell
him that at least i want to live. but i can see why u wish that, u don't want
people to suffer right? hmm... that's most generous of u but i don't think it's
the right way to go.... then again, it's not my choice.
yes yes i know i know (nods head) but it hurts u fingers and it means i'd have
to cut my nails (which are like about 1 inch or something )...sniffle....i'll miss them..
it sounds like a lot of work.....good luck . i
hope this summer i might be able to learn some kundo or something and play
guitar. ahhhh what a pretty dream *_*...
Killing....... that only sounds easy........ but I know that I really can't kill
someone....... the only person that I really tried to kill was myself but I gave
that up.......
........... you sound like a teacher Marisa........ or a mother........
They.......
They don't leave me alone.......... every single day...... it's the same
I nothing but a puppet to them..........
And sometimes I hate myself....... because I'm only dedicated to the people I
love and I won't give a damn to what happens to others.........
I can't help it sometimes........
My mother...... was saying how democracy is so great with freedom and bla
And I told her that democracy only full of selfish people that don't care even
if someone is dying right next to them.... so I told her it would be better off
with communism
And she's going on with the N.Korea thing and no freedom there bla
And I told her that wasn't true communism.... I told her that was
dictatorship/facism not communism where everybody is equal
But........ I know..... that true communism cannot exist because there is always
discrimination and humanity's sin nature that leads them back to sin
again......
But I still have hope...... even if it's less than 1%
Everybody fears that most...... what if I go to hell when I'm
dead.......
Because Marisa....... if we have nothing, we have nothing to lose
If there isn't happiness, there wouldn't be sadness either
If there wasn't life, there wouldn't be death either.......
Does that make sense? It's not worth it........ because eventually......
Everything will disappear.......
I just can't stand....... so many things happening around me.....
So what if I am happy? What about all the other people?
Just because I'm happy....... is that enough?......... I don't think
so.......
1inch........ guess it's popular for girls to grow nails....... and hair.......
my nails never got longer than........ about 4mm...... dunno if you know metric
system but I don't know inches either...... although I know that 1inch is 2.54cm
so I know how long your nails would be
Yeah you really should...... sometimes playing an instrument makes you forget
about all the bad things and focus on what you have right now........
At least I can forget about right now.......
Quote:
I see....... I guess some mothers prefer respect......... and in Korea everybody
demands respect that they don't deserve.......
But why do you care about others?........ I mean....... why does it matter what
they think?
And you shouldn't treat them the same...... if it hurt you, you should realize
that it would also hurt them..........
Hahaha..........
I used to curse every single person....... so bitter........ bitter......... why
is hatred so bitter?
No I really don't like people........ and I don't help them.......
Sometimes....... it feels that....... if I trust anybody.......
I'll just die painfully....... screaming...... screaming........
Not that I fear death but........ you know.....
Lonely?...... I've always been lonely....... but...... I don't know
I see..........
Why? You want my violin?....... I don't like it too much anyway.......
And I would feel sorry to give you such a crappy
violin......
really? what do u mean? i mean, if i had to do that i might as well puke. i can
only give respect if they treat me with respect. i just can't stand people who
expect me to treat them kindly without them doing the same. that's
unjust.
hmm....2 reasons why i care about others.
1. is becuz i'm selfish and i take pleasure of feeling warm and fuzzy after i
finish helping someone. do u know that feeling where u think u can't do anything
but then one day u really try and in the end accomplish it? do u know that
feeling? i get that same feeling when i help others. it makes me happy thinking
"becuz of me, their life is not that bad now..." it just warms my
heart seeing people smile.
2. i can't stand people suffering. when i see people going through things i went
through, i just can't stand there and watch. i don't want them to suffer like i
did. it was painful, and it can cruel when ur alone to deal with it all by
urself. i rather see people laugh and smile than see them sad and crying.
it matters what they think becuz if u don't listen to them or even try to, how
could u ever understand them? and if u don't understand them, how could u help
them?
that's the point! i can't let them trample me like some doormat! they have to
learn that life doesn't go that way and that they rn't here just to harrass me.
i know i'm weak and i can hardly defend myself, but i demand my rights. yes i
know that would be hurtful and violent but it's the only way people learn. no
one listens to u if u just play nice, they take advantage of u. if u r firm and
can say "NO" in a clear voice, they'll back off cuz their intimidated
by the consequences. (tell u the truth though, i really hate resorting to
violence, i never want to hit people)
i'm not sure.... it isn't an emotion of love... hatred is a nasty thing, it's
one of ur inner demons. i think that's why it's so bitter
u don't? r u sure? it seems like u do becuz u have given elizabeth some hope and
confidence that what she says does count and that she is loved.
how horrible....and scary. that does sound painful, screaming i mean....
but....i believe that if i am able to touch the hearts of others, it doesn't
mean the world or anything but just the ones i love, i believe i can die happy
with my face smiling and peaceful. cuz even though i'll be gone for good, i'll
enjoy the time i had with them and i'll know that becuz i tried, i'm not lonely
anymore. i wonder why y u don't? u say u r lonely but r u really? can u say to
me that there is not one person who cares about u? if u still don't realize
that, then that means ur ungrateful and unappreciative to the small things in
life.
ack no no! i just want to learn the violin! if i ever have a chance i want to
learn something like the guitar, piano or violin, but since violins r hard to
play...i back down -.-
Yeah....... like everybody in Korea wants respect because they know they can
never deserve it by themselves........
I'm not sure if I know that feeling....... don't really feel anything these
days.........
Yeah I understand......... it doesn't feel good when people are crying and
suffering........ but sometimes...... really...... I want to kill someone.......
because I can't restrain myself anymore....... for all they've done to me.....
and others
No I meant, why would you care what they think about you?
That reminds me....... I just argued about my mother about democracy and
communism...... and facism and dictatorship.......
Of course she can't stand up seeing her arguments are logics are...... too
shallow but...... bleh
I know........ Really...... i'm sick of violence...... although I let it out
once in a while because it feels like I'm going to burst if I
don't.......
Does it?...... because...... I don't feel like I'm truely helping people
sometimes....... I never know what people really feel because I don't even know
what I feel like...... but if you think so too then I guess you might be
right
Oh the screaming part..... that was just like...... emphasis....
description......
Yeah I know what you mean....... although I thought you said you wanted to
live......
I don't know really...... whoever I am with..... the feeling of lonliness never
goes away..... whether I'm having fun...... whether I'm laughing...... I always
have insecurity.......
I've never really appreciated my life...... If I had a choice..... if God really
gave me the choice..... I would've wished that me..... or nobody else would've
been born or created.......
Guitar is pretty easy actually..... you don't have to think too much..... you
either play the chords or you can just read notes and the flat/sharp think is
really easy because it's only moving one fret
Violin..... yeah it's really hard..... too many things to think at once
How to hold it, hand finger position, blablabla.......
Anyways you should learn an instrument too
merged: 05-12-2007 ~ 05:59am
Woah...misa you have one packed page! Vatican talks to you alot! Hehe...I think
I might seem...mentally disturbed to him...sorry if you're reading this! I
didn't mean to sound disturbed! I am not disturbed! You heard me?! I AM NOT
DISTURBED! ...okay...sorry about that...i am just trying ot say...i am
not...disturbed...? or am i...nah, couldn't be...no salamander is
disturbed...what say you Misa? No misa is disturbed so how could a salamander
be...salamanders and misas are good friends...we aren't disturbed?! which
reminds me, CANT WAIT TILL I GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND MEET RACHEL! SHE SOUNDS
SOOOOOOOOO COOL! I LIKE HER BUT I DONT THINK SHE LIKES ME! BUT THATS OKAY! SHE
MIGHT THINK I AM FAKE OR DISTURBED BUT I AM NOT AND I WILL STILL LIKE HER
BECAUSE SHE WAS ALWAYS WITH YOU SO I AM NOT DISTURBED! Sorry misa...this orange
i just ate tasted soooooooo juicy...the smell is making
me...woozy...sighs...ORANGES GALORE!
merged: 05-12-2007 ~ 06:00am
I AM READING VAMP KNIGHT VOL 5 AND I JUST LOVE KANAME!
Quote:
Yeah I guess they do care about me in some ways......
And they don't really try to be my "friend"
I barely talk to anybody in real life....... not only my parents
Yeah...... bet they do
My closet is too small for me..... I guess I can fit if I curl up but I'm not
going to waste time trying to fit into it
......... I see
Mmmm......... you're weird........ in a lot of ways
But funny too.......
mm-hmm, i think most parents do. some don't though...
lol mine either. my mom literally told me one day "i don't want to be your
friend!" hahaha
really? why? are you diffident or do u like to just keep to urself? for me, i
can be really quiet when i don't know someone becuz i don't know what to say or
cuz i'm not interested in them. although when i'm online or with my friends i
can be really loud and weird haha.
lol good idea. my closets are big. i can stretch out my legs if i wanted to but
i choose to curl up and put boxes around me (they make me feel like i'm building
a big lego wall to shine out the light -.-.
haha i'm glad ^-^
Yeah.... and sometimes I really want to kill those people who don't care about
their children......
Yeah and Korean culture is..... bleh
They think adults are to be respected and blablabla
I mean I'll give them respect if they deserve it......
But Koreans really don't so I just curse behind their back
I really...... don't like people and don't get along with them
No matter who it is..... whether my parents...... or whoever, I always have a
sense of...... fear and nervousness whenever I'm with someone......
So I don't really talk much whether I know that person or not
Too many things in my closet..... like violin and books....... and I don't
really have clothes since I don't really care about my fashion and since I'm too
lazy to waste time buying it...... so the closet's pretty small
my mom cares but i think she only wants to act like a mother, nothing else
that's true. i do that too. if people treat me bad, i treat them bad as
well...what's annoying though is that i have to do some extra listening to find
out if they r talking behind my back. it's very frustrating to stay calm in
front of ur relatives when their talking shit in thai about u, thinking u don't
understand. and lmao, i used to curse behind their back but now i just annoy
them while acting innocent. for ex. relatives come over and they hate cats.
"oh hi (blank)! ooo let me show u tuxy! he's under the bed, hold on! (comes
back) u want to touch him? he won't hurt (he bites and scratches) ^-^"
"uh...no thank you..." "noo plz? just for a little bit, here, u
can pet him...(let my grip around tuxy loosens a bit until he can jump out on
his own and scare them)" ta daaahhh...although it can be worse at times
lmao.
hmm that's odd, u don't like people? why do you help them if you don't like
them?
oh i see, i can be like that at times too. i'm not sure why u fear them but i
fear that i might say something offending cuz i'm bad at holding my tongue at
times... -.-...
r u lonely living that way?
lol wow it seems like u have a lot...my closet isn't actually mine, it's my
mom's so it has all of her clothes and paperwork hidden in there. although if i
had a closet of my own it would be filled with old homework, papers, books, art
junk and everything -.- since i have no room for all this stuff, they r scatter
around the living room (which is my room).
tee hee hee u have a violin! (pokes it) tee hee hee!
I see....... I guess some mothers prefer respect......... and in Korea everybody
demands respect that they don't deserve.......
But why do you care about others?........ I mean....... why does it matter what
they think?
And you shouldn't treat them the same...... if it hurt you, you should realize
that it would also hurt them..........
Hahaha..........
I used to curse every single person....... so bitter........ bitter......... why
is hatred so bitter?
No I really don't like people........ and I don't help them.......
Sometimes....... it feels that....... if I trust anybody.......
I'll just die painfully....... screaming...... screaming........
Not that I fear death but........ you know.....
Lonely?...... I've always been lonely....... but...... I don't know
I see..........
Why? You want my violin?....... I don't like it too much anyway.......
And I would feel sorry to give you such a crappy violin......
Quote by marmaladeboyfanpita-ten
rules. it's about a boy (forgot his name) who lives an average life until he
meets this angel name misha or something. she's older than him and she loves him
out of no where so he lets her hang around. then later on u see this demon girl
who is actually his beeeeeep (not tellling cuz u gotta read it) and this misha
was his lover in his past reincarnated suicidal self. so yeah it a bunch of
stuff so far i haven't finished it (no one has the 7th book gosh!) but it's
pretty good so far. u should read it. it's really cute, and misha has the
cooliest lang ever. it has a lot of okkie dokey smokey kind of stuff all
over
hmm i think they would. how do u know that they didn't though?
lol okay
true
umm....yes actually...i don't want u to end in the same result as he did. but
then again i just wanted to be ur friend cuz u seem cool.
Well if they did learn anything or whatever, there wouldn't be any more chaos in
the world......
Well..... whether or not I do end up like him, I am me and nobody else so I'm
asking you to treat me like I am someone...... not a similar person to who you
know
merged: 05-07-2007 ~ 08:52pm
Quote by marmaladeboyfan
i'm sorry. you're right. i'll stop that from now on.
how r u today? it doesn't seem like ur in a good
mood...
Okay..... Nothing to be sorry about
I was just hoping that you would treat me as my own person not sombody
else
I'm..... ok
Was a bit sick since yesterday but I kinda recovered
What do you mean I'm not in a good mood? I'm always like this
Well..... not always but guess I've changed a little
oh i hope u feel better soon. umm sorry if i offended u (it seems like i do that
too much...) it's just on forevefriends i saw some comments and i think i saw
one that said u weren't....umm sorry for the mistake...
umm i don't know....i guess not really, i just got out of a fight with my mom so
i still feel weird but right now i'm calm so i guess that means i'm fine.
Thank you
I do feel a bit better
On FF?
Mmm..... I think that was when Bumble-Bee mistook me for a girl......
I said I didn't really mind being labeled or being named anything but I didn't
mean that I wanted to be treated like someone else........
But I forgive you since you are my friend after all
I see....... I don't usually have fights with my parents......
I don't really talk to them too often really
But sometimes..... maybe some bonding time might be nice
Well but I'm glad you're doing ok though
ohh i see now! that makes sense, i didn't look through all the comments so i
only saw that one
ah yay thank you
hmm r u close to ur parents? i'm not but i'm really trying....i just got mad at
her though becuz of how she treated my friends, i can't accept my friends being
treated that way so i stayed in the closet for 8
hours
Not really...... I barely spend any time with them
Talk less than...... 10 words with my father and less than 40 words with my
mother everyday.....
I see..... parents are really annoying sometimes
Closet.... the last time I slept in a closet was when I was like 5...... when I
was actually able to fit into one
oh wow, do they mind? or do they try to be ur "friend"? lol yeah i
guess they can be annoying at times but i know they mostly do that cuz they love
u . eek yeah i might sound childish to lock myself in a closet but it really
works lol. i become mental in there with my crying and demented singing. when
i'm tired out though i just sleep.
Yeah I guess they do care about me in some ways......
And they don't really try to be my "friend"
I barely talk to anybody in real life....... not only my parents
Yeah...... bet they do
My closet is too small for me..... I guess I can fit if I curl up but I'm not
going to waste time trying to fit into it
......... I see
Mmmm......... you're weird........ in a lot of ways
But funny too.......
You WONT BELIVE HOW I SPOKE TO TODAY!
Aaron! yeah thats right Aaron.
gosh its been so longgg!
yaya:)
but now i feal kinda crappy......now that i thnk about it.
but in truth i missed the kid.
tehehehe i spoke to him yaya.
*giggils*
this will make you hyper i made meee!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fW8ATwgpuXY
sorry for late comment but i went to church and had fun...why do you think your getting in trouble?
oh lol i see ^-^. i don't go to church anymore =p
something serious happened at the bus stop and if the school finds out....me and my friends r dead..
ohhhhh if you do believe in god then pray that you don't get in trouble and if you don't still do the same thing ^_^ do your best yeahhhhhh
argh...why must my friends me so stubborn?! jk jk!
I am happy! Honestly! I...i dont really think of him...it's just a sigh type of thinking...like gee, i wonder how he's doing...or something...i dont really think sadly anymore....I am happy! And...i dont know what my 200% salmie smile is...
merged: 06-04-2007 ~ 05:12am
100%
sorry for late comment but i went to church and had fun...why do you think your getting in trouble?
NO! i dont want a tree! I have no where to put it! Yeesh...
No, I am really happy! What more should I ask of life?! I have friends, family, good health (as far as i know), and I mean, I'm have talents that I love...they're just hidden somewhere...but I am happy! Really!
thank you she's a water godess
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 08:17pm
:nya: how cool! umm...lets see...i don't have anything to reward u with so i'll give u a big cwookie * hand u a chocolate, melt in ur mouth, aunt-made, 5-class cookie*
lol how r u?
im fine thank you for the cookie *munch-munch* its delicious ne
i see your
doing well. 
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 10:01pm
yeah i miss new york do you have fun there and if i guess its 9:59 about to turn 10:00 o clock
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 11:26pm
yeah i live in texas now but i miss new york alot so cool so which part of new york do you live in
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 11:38pm
yeah thats kind of the same when you walk alone down an alley in brooklyn lol
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 11:39pm
would you like to be friends ?(adds to friends list) we are already though mind that
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 11:45pm
mmmmmmmmhmmm you got that right
yeah
newyorkers 4 lyfe weeeeeeeee 
merged: 06-03-2007 ~ 12:13am
yeahhhh*dancing around*
Hey Misa! Again i sawyour comment on my page but i cant reply...anyhow, yes yes i want you to come but you cant on Monday! Because my mommy said that neither her nor daddy will be at home so no...she doesnt trust me...boohoo...anyhow, where was i...yeah, i read up on it on the computer. Making a biohabitat in my backyard! JUst continue growing the weeds (i found poison ivy in my backyard! time to put it down Clarence's back! Muahaha...meanie...)...and get some natural flowers (as in wild flowers) and...my lifelong dream...GET A TUPELA TREE! AND A GARDENIA! FREAK I WAS THIS CLOSE TO GETTING A TUPELA! THIS CLOSE! so what if it costs 50 bucks?! i dont care! It smells so good...and i talked with it... andd...to have the pond, first i gotta dig a really deep ditch, andt hen i simply put like cement or bricks or something on the bottom and fiill it with water. Wonderful...that way birds will come! yippee! And i will talk with them too!
merged: 06-01-2007 ~ 06:20am
hehe...i just heard a really nice song...no i didnt like it but i liked the meaning...life is what you make it to be...and i realized how true it is...just because he left...doesnt mean i should be sad...my life isnt sad...i am making it sad...
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 04:26am
yea it does! BUt im gonna beeeeeeeegggg till you guys can! And hehe, I wont pull the weeds because they are all part of a natural, wild, untamed environment. Very natural...i know it's mean! But you see, i like just thinking of funny things to do to him...hehe, well...no not really...i just got angry abt how he said that he's glad abt Ali.
Noooooooooooooooo! NOOOOO! i wanna work hard to get the money! Dont buy it for me! I mean, itll mean a lot to me, but dont take the trouble! it's expensive! And...well i know you will be like "i dont care" so ill say dont get it for me because i wont appreciate it as much if i didnt put my sweat and blood into it...
Eh, I am gonna go to Home Depot or something and get some mesh typa thingie to keep the water in. Cement is tooooooooo expensive...T-T i feel poor...but that's alright! I must learn to work hard!
The song is called...i think "Life's what you make it" or something...
That is true too...but i shouldn't be overly sad! Right?
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 08:54am
yeah well, nvm, i dont care. Clarence was trying ot talk with me a lot lately...i feel bad...i dunno...i want him to come to his senses though and ask me why i am mad. ill say it straight out.
yeah i hope that kid was okay! i felt like crying! poor kiddie...hes gonna be scared of me now...he wont like me...HELL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE! THE SSADNESS! yeah...i felt that Motushi was abt to cry...god...i hope hes okay...
merged: 06-02-2007 ~ 09:03am
aii i didnt see the last part...wha?! nooooooo dont buy it forme! i dont like it that much! seriously! it has these little fruit thingies that attract bugs and you know how much i hate bugs!
yeah! ...why shouldnt i be happy...?
Let's go Marisa!
I'm praying for you ^^
You can do it!
hi. saw your comment on my page...im not bored....i have some work to do...actually...tons of work...thinking of making a pond in my backyard...i want you to come to my place...it really looks like a forest in my backyard...really...so gorgeous...
Hey Marisa............
You want to join this group?
Kinda lacking members and thought you might kinda like this theme
Elizabeth already there and gonna invite Aaliyah as well
Well take care ^^
^-^ welcome~ ^-^
yes arrent you proud of me i made banners! yessss ill make more and stuf cuz i am sick and stoned off medicine. like really stoned. i am seeing colors and stuf.
anyway. um baaaaaaaaa! and what do you meen by dont freek people with banners?
oh tell natasha i say hi tomorow kayy.
fifty-five monkeys; have fun.
yup finishing~ sorry for taking so long, just finished my exams...
just need to add a few more touches and done, will be done by sat~ ^-^
sorry for taking a really really long time!
misa misa misaaaaaa! i got the organizers! i love the clock! I LOVE VAMPIRE KNIGHT! I READ UP 2 5! I WANNA READ 6666666! WAHHHHHHHHHH!
anyways, my organizers have to do with vamprie knight!gocheck them out!
Think like what?........about the suicide? well I don't feel like dying anymore Marisa........
It's because you sound mature and give good advices....... sometimes....... and you sound like a mother because you sound like you care too much
Well........ mostly the people around me...... yeah hahahaha...... we're all just puppets and just dolls for amusement
I wonder why........ do you think I can.......... love other people I will meet in the future?.......... because it seems...... that it gets harder and harder for me to love people......
Yeah you're right Marisa.....it's always the people........ sadly
But I still prefer the idea of communism.........
I hope that too....... that it'll be over when we die
And as I've said before I'm not comforted one bit.......
More....... disgusted and sick........
I understand...... everybody sees differently
The world..... the people....... even the colors.......
I think you're really funny....... not the bad way but interesting funny
Mmmm....... that sounds reasonable........... you really do give good advices...... like teachers.......
That sounds like Conan....... killing somebody with fingernail and biting the nails off and getting rid of the evidence and replacing the nail with artificial ones so that nobody would notice......
Closet....... that reminds me of when I was 5..... wow...... it's really a miracle that I can remember that far back.......
I used to hide inside the closet because I didn't want to see my father.......
merged: 05-14-2007 ~ 11:28am
Yeah....... You do care too much
And you're mmm.......... weird too
Hey no hugging
I don't like being touched......... well..... but I'll let you since you're my friend and I usually let my friends do that although I can't say that I always like hugs......
Yeah sure....... ok.......... don't kill myself and yeah........
Me a good person? I don't think so......... Not really........
I see........ I've done that a lot too......... I just look at someone hurt and I just space out thinking........
Millions of thoughts rushing through my brain...........
Should I help? Does that person need or want my help? What can I do.......?
And end up not helping at all.........
Nope never heard of such........ odd expression
Yeah and I only give compliments to those who actually deserve it
You mean the book twilight?.......
Yup...... nails very good for killing people...... just like rock music and marmalade......
Yeah teh Detective Conan series is like solving mysteries......
My father....... was always an icon of fear and hatred for me since childhood........ but I still love him
merged: 05-15-2007 ~ 03:06pm
Well so why are you tackling me to the ground?
Unless you want to give me a beatdown or something
Go ahead............ if you call that a hug
Then I get a lot of hugs...... considering how people knock me down everyday and tries to beat me up........
Well...... those people must be lying then
I don't lie Marisa......... at least not about those things
I am what I am..........
Yeah....... I guess there must be opposite to things
Like light and darkness....... because there is darkness, we can appreciate and notice the light and vice versa
Once more........ I DON'T HAVE ANY STINKIN DEMON IN ME! All I have inside me is my soul........ and organs...... and blood........ and bactetias....... bones...... pancreas........ and maye hookworms..... blablabla....... stupid science......
Yeah sure...... I understand......... kinda.......... partially..... maybe no........
And it also depends on your personal opinion........
I get depressed when the sun is up and I would love it if the world was actually blue....... You see Marisa? Not everybody likes pink and hates blue
Nope........ don't know what it is....... Ami just told me about it for a bit
Edward? Sure take him.......... I'm not gay or homosexual or anything...... although I don't see the difference in those two words
Tuxy....... what kinda name is that? Portugese or something?......... weird
Yeah sure....... as long as this Tuxy creature doesn't get smart with me, I'll play with this Tuxy creature
The book? Oh you mean Conan....... the manga is called Detective Conan........
Well it's rather old but very academic and educational......... dunno if I recommend it or not
Umm........ my family was always..... hostile with each other even before I was born
And my father always getting angry...... blabla and at me..........
I just hated him........ he ruined my life........ kinda
Never understood what he was thinking........ just........ so much hatred.........
merged: 05-16-2007 ~ 06:21pm
Huh? I don't really get knocked out........ Only die of lack of sleep according to your definition......
No I don't do anything to them...... they tell me it's fun to hit me or something
Weird humans
Yeah tapeworms........ not a pleasant thought
Ryougi Shiki is my only character that you can say that I "love" right now....... and maybe also Nanaya Shiki
Yeah tuxedo...... good for killing people........
'
That's a frightening thought
Cat wearing a suit.......
I prefer canines Marisa........ doggies......
Ruined...... well maybe not that but....... you know......
I think...... because I was so scared of my father..... I'm always trying to hide my emotions and real feelings
Yeah our family was mostly about money too..... and some other family business
And he always got angry at me too
My mother says he got some mental issues because he was also treated badly when he was a kid because his mother treated him like a stepmother....... because my grandmother's mother was a stepmother, she didn't really have a real mother to be the role model
Why did you think that Marisa?....... I mean about your mother being a villain and dad being the hero?
Hatred...... yeah
That's why I keep my emotions all locked up in there....... inside me somewhere
And sometimes that hatred leaks out and I get angry or go crazy and all sortsa stuff...... you should see me when I'm sad.......
I'm meaner online but I'm really mean in real life......
Hi there
Im glad you liked it
talk to you later
take care
bye~
Killing....... that only sounds easy........ but I know that I really can't kill someone....... the only person that I really tried to kill was myself but I gave that up.......
........... you sound like a teacher Marisa........ or a mother........
They.......
They don't leave me alone.......... every single day...... it's the same
I nothing but a puppet to them..........
And sometimes I hate myself....... because I'm only dedicated to the people I love and I won't give a damn to what happens to others.........
I can't help it sometimes........
My mother...... was saying how democracy is so great with freedom and bla
And I told her that democracy only full of selfish people that don't care even if someone is dying right next to them.... so I told her it would be better off with communism
And she's going on with the N.Korea thing and no freedom there bla
And I told her that wasn't true communism.... I told her that was dictatorship/facism not communism where everybody is equal
But........ I know..... that true communism cannot exist because there is always discrimination and humanity's sin nature that leads them back to sin again......
But I still have hope...... even if it's less than 1%
Everybody fears that most...... what if I go to hell when I'm dead.......
Because Marisa....... if we have nothing, we have nothing to lose
If there isn't happiness, there wouldn't be sadness either
If there wasn't life, there wouldn't be death either.......
Does that make sense? It's not worth it........ because eventually......
Everything will disappear.......
I just can't stand....... so many things happening around me.....
So what if I am happy? What about all the other people?
Just because I'm happy....... is that enough?......... I don't think so.......
1inch........ guess it's popular for girls to grow nails....... and hair.......
my nails never got longer than........ about 4mm...... dunno if you know metric system but I don't know inches either...... although I know that 1inch is 2.54cm so I know how long your nails would be
Yeah you really should...... sometimes playing an instrument makes you forget about all the bad things and focus on what you have right now........
At least I can forget about right now.......
Thank u very much for liking my wallpaper "Have no Fear". I appreciate the fav. Take care.
Yeah....... like everybody in Korea wants respect because they know they can never deserve it by themselves........
I'm not sure if I know that feeling....... don't really feel anything these days.........
Yeah I understand......... it doesn't feel good when people are crying and suffering........ but sometimes...... really...... I want to kill someone....... because I can't restrain myself anymore....... for all they've done to me..... and others
No I meant, why would you care what they think about you?
That reminds me....... I just argued about my mother about democracy and communism...... and facism and dictatorship.......
Of course she can't stand up seeing her arguments are logics are...... too shallow but...... bleh
I know........ Really...... i'm sick of violence...... although I let it out once in a while because it feels like I'm going to burst if I don't.......
Does it?...... because...... I don't feel like I'm truely helping people sometimes....... I never know what people really feel because I don't even know what I feel like...... but if you think so too then I guess you might be right
Oh the screaming part..... that was just like...... emphasis.... description......
Yeah I know what you mean....... although I thought you said you wanted to live......
I don't know really...... whoever I am with..... the feeling of lonliness never goes away..... whether I'm having fun...... whether I'm laughing...... I always have insecurity.......
I've never really appreciated my life...... If I had a choice..... if God really gave me the choice..... I would've wished that me..... or nobody else would've been born or created.......
Guitar is pretty easy actually..... you don't have to think too much..... you either play the chords or you can just read notes and the flat/sharp think is really easy because it's only moving one fret
Violin..... yeah it's really hard..... too many things to think at once
How to hold it, hand finger position, blablabla.......
Anyways you should learn an instrument too
hey misa! What's up?!
merged: 05-12-2007 ~ 05:59am
Woah...misa you have one packed page! Vatican talks to you alot! Hehe...I think I might seem...mentally disturbed to him...sorry if you're reading this! I didn't mean to sound disturbed! I am not disturbed! You heard me?! I AM NOT DISTURBED! ...okay...sorry about that...i am just trying ot say...i am not...disturbed...? or am i...nah, couldn't be...no salamander is disturbed...what say you Misa? No misa is disturbed so how could a salamander be...salamanders and misas are good friends...we aren't disturbed?! which reminds me, CANT WAIT TILL I GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND MEET RACHEL! SHE SOUNDS SOOOOOOOOO COOL! I LIKE HER BUT I DONT THINK SHE LIKES ME! BUT THATS OKAY! SHE MIGHT THINK I AM FAKE OR DISTURBED BUT I AM NOT AND I WILL STILL LIKE HER BECAUSE SHE WAS ALWAYS WITH YOU SO I AM NOT DISTURBED! Sorry misa...this orange i just ate tasted soooooooo juicy...the smell is making me...woozy...sighs...ORANGES GALORE!
merged: 05-12-2007 ~ 06:00am
I AM READING VAMP KNIGHT VOL 5 AND I JUST LOVE KANAME!
Yeah.... and sometimes I really want to kill those people who don't care about their children......
Yeah and Korean culture is..... bleh
They think adults are to be respected and blablabla
I mean I'll give them respect if they deserve it......
But Koreans really don't so I just curse behind their back
I really...... don't like people and don't get along with them
No matter who it is..... whether my parents...... or whoever, I always have a sense of...... fear and nervousness whenever I'm with someone......
So I don't really talk much whether I know that person or not
Too many things in my closet..... like violin and books....... and I don't really have clothes since I don't really care about my fashion and since I'm too lazy to waste time buying it...... so the closet's pretty small
merged: 05-11-2007 ~ 07:02pm
I see....... I guess some mothers prefer respect......... and in Korea everybody demands respect that they don't deserve.......
But why do you care about others?........ I mean....... why does it matter what they think?
And you shouldn't treat them the same...... if it hurt you, you should realize that it would also hurt them..........
Hahaha..........
I used to curse every single person....... so bitter........ bitter......... why is hatred so bitter?
No I really don't like people........ and I don't help them.......
Sometimes....... it feels that....... if I trust anybody.......
I'll just die painfully....... screaming...... screaming........
Not that I fear death but........ you know.....
Lonely?...... I've always been lonely....... but...... I don't know
I see..........
Why? You want my violin?....... I don't like it too much anyway.......
And I would feel sorry to give you such a crappy violin......
cool! where can i find it? and is it on you-tube?
Well if they did learn anything or whatever, there wouldn't be any more chaos in the world......
Well..... whether or not I do end up like him, I am me and nobody else so I'm asking you to treat me like I am someone...... not a similar person to who you know
merged: 05-07-2007 ~ 08:52pm
Okay..... Nothing to be sorry about
I was just hoping that you would treat me as my own person not sombody else
I'm..... ok
Was a bit sick since yesterday but I kinda recovered
What do you mean I'm not in a good mood? I'm always like this
Well..... not always but guess I've changed a little
So how about you? Are you doing ok?
merged: 05-08-2007 ~ 02:47pm
Thank you
I do feel a bit better
On FF?
Mmm..... I think that was when Bumble-Bee mistook me for a girl......
I said I didn't really mind being labeled or being named anything but I didn't mean that I wanted to be treated like someone else........
But I forgive you since you are my friend after all
I see....... I don't usually have fights with my parents......
I don't really talk to them too often really
But sometimes..... maybe some bonding time might be nice
Well but I'm glad you're doing ok though
merged: 05-08-2007 ~ 09:06pm
Not really...... I barely spend any time with them
Talk less than...... 10 words with my father and less than 40 words with my mother everyday.....
I see..... parents are really annoying sometimes
Closet.... the last time I slept in a closet was when I was like 5...... when I was actually able to fit into one
I hope you work things out with your mother......
merged: 05-09-2007 ~ 03:12pm
Yeah I guess they do care about me in some ways......
And they don't really try to be my "friend"
I barely talk to anybody in real life....... not only my parents
Yeah...... bet they do
My closet is too small for me..... I guess I can fit if I curl up but I'm not going to waste time trying to fit into it
......... I see
Mmmm......... you're weird........ in a lot of ways
But funny too.......