Quote by vatican92
Well umm.... first of all..... this is a bit weird.... because I wrote a bit more but it seems it got cut off.....
well.... whatever.....

Malay?.... it's okay Elizabeth..... but how do you live in Malaysia if you dont know Malay?
Or do people there use more English?
I got straight A's last semester but this semester might be hard
My Spanish is always on the border....
But I would never score 100 on any of those Elizabeth so you must be really smart

Well true.... it does not rely solely on time but more to a person's ability
On the other hand, I believe wisdom does take time to obtain
I think you should stop acting if you dont want to as well
That is usually the case. People tend to get prettier or handsomer (if that's a word) as they get older but people also tend to grow uglier on the inside as they get older
I've seen that in myself as well.....
I'm not going to deny it.. because that is reality
Looks do matter... superficiality isnt only sentimental like they say in dramas and movies
If you take care of yourself now, you wont look old until you're in the mid 40s
My aunts look very young but they're in the early and mid 50's
My father looks young for his age as well
Some people think he's in his 30's when he's almost 50 now
So stop saying depressing things Elizabeth

I thought you wanted to be older
well opposite for me
I usually dont like older people...... and sometimes I dont like younger people
Some kids are very annoing (like Natsume) and some kids are very scary (like my cousins... who are still cute and all)
But I still think younger people are more fun....

Oh I see... I was keep wondering what bubbly was
Love is too complex..... if love was a program, it would be like 8102942 bzillion terrabytes
I'll say this again... You sure aren't romantic
Well to tell the truth, I dont care much for romance either
I prefer a cozy kind of love
Not too fanzy or moody like romantic love but like..... sharing a blanket, drinking tea and watching the same program on tv kind of love

Just because you can accept it does not mean you're more mature

Well first.... you use a lot of perverted words
Second, you often tell me these weird perverted stories
Third, you seem to know a lot more of these sexual things than I do
And Finally, you're a girl..... and girls mature more quickly (both physically and mentally) therefore you might be perverted..... somehow
Just watching porn aint the only way to determine if you're perverted or not
You need to get inside your head and analyze what you are thinking ELizabeth
And Elizabeth.... I dont like people who say those kind of things so lightly

Well you can misplace them, you can brake them by accidentally stepping on them, they might fall off when you're playing sports, if you get hit where you're wearing your glasses it might hurt, it pressures your nose bone so your nose might look weird after a while, you alway need to clean them, and it gets scratched so easily
Contacts are such a bother as well.....
I'm not mocking anybody Elizabeth.... Especially not you

.... I'm not going to stay in Malaysia... I'll go to england for college(Unfortunately Ian's going to England too! I will have to spend the rest of my school college, university life with him! LIFE IS SO CRUEL! He's going to a music school too cause he has a scholarship for violin! NNOOooooo! Stupid! Crappy! Evil! Stupid! I HATE HIM! Not to mention if I decide to take the path of music I might have to be stuck with him for the rest of my life! I'm so going to Korea or Japan for college!

My dad gets mistaken for a model all the time! My mother is so artistic! My sister is a genius in science! My brother has the brain of Abraham Lincoln! My 2nd brother can type so fast! And I'm just crappy TT^TT

Yeah I'm not romantic... I admit... Cozy romance kinda makes me feel... Awkward so.... No... Not that type...

......
You don't like people who say those things so lightly? Than why don't you just ignore me...? I change my glasses all the time since I always break them...

Quote:

Homework and a crap load of exams
I absolutely and whole heartedly concur
And I thought middle school was a pain in the poop hole
I know that I dont have any true friends
I have 2 that I hang around with (they're ma peeps ya dig?) but they arent my frenz
You kapish the jumbo of words dat r comin out of ma mouth?
Man havent you heard? Gud guys (and gurls) finish last....
And you know..... that'd be bad if it was a race or an exam....
Wow u noe foo foo?
That wuz totally unexpected! U have some African frenz there or something? cuz for what I noe, foo foo is sum kinda african food
Mashed potato? I hate that stuff..... how can you mash potatoes?
That's like murdering my dog man.... since I named my puppy potato since it's all brown furred and looks ugly and all that
Dats cool gurl. Nothing gets implanted in ma brain either except foo foo
Ok.... I'm stop talking weird.... I was getting pissed off at myself
You doing some technical mumbo jumbo (that I'm totally not into?)
U sure dunno how to spell that's 4 sure
R u one of those cat people who are actually superheroes who wear ugly black spandex with cat ears and glue whiskers on yo face and jump around buildings vomiting hairballs?

They have amputated my pancreas.... which I dont noe what it's for....

oo that sucks. but i bet i have more than u right now =p
nyah, even though i went through hell in middle school, the friends i got there was the bestest
aww there there *pats head* u go look for true friends too . lol but yeah..isn't that kinda lonely if u just talk to them about random stuff? nyeh..maybe that's a girl thing..~_~
whoa...O_o' u sound like someone from the italian mafia trying to talk ganster rofl!
lol so random lmfao . but yesserie bob it would be bad *nods*
lmfao yeah . it's more hilarious becuz the guy i got it from WAS african as well lmfao .
i couldn't before -__-'.....just drown it in gravy and all will be well . but i don't know, mash potatoes r cool . it's like an unfriend french fry!
well, i bet ur dog taste good then. mind if i try? *grabs fork and knife*
lmfao!....*silence*....."foo foo"....*giggles*
naaah it's alright, sorry if i sound weird now myself cuz i'm sort of tired right now...and...*doesn't want to think of the word* forget it lol (lol i can't believe i gave up so fast lol!)
well soooooooorrry if my computy senses was meant to try and save this world! *cries off that i couldn't be the next spiderman* lmfao sorry..i'm REALLY out of it lmfao
nyeh, bite me. i can't read weird stuff that's in symbols -__-'..too much darn thinking involved!
SHIT HOW'D U KNOW!?!?! - *cough* - i mean......of course not.......................>_>

ooo that sucks. does it hurt now or something? and isn't the pancreas used for uh.. what..insulin or something? something to do with the digestive tract...? @_@ (learned biology this year and need to to take a science regents test on this without knowing a thing -__-'). either way i hope u feel better or something ...or can poop right..?

Quote by vatican92
Yes I am still busy as ever
Finals are very close and I still have tons of projects due soon and I feel like im gonna die of exhaustion sooner or later
But I cant believe my sophomore year of high school is basically over....
I dont even remember anything.... it feels like time goes without me.....
Anyway.... I just wanted to spend more time with you..... I felt that I was gone for a while... and I was lonely without you and stuff.... and I just missed you and..... kaaaaahh! what are you making me say?
You are better than Ian in a lot of ways Elizabeth.... academics isnt what people are evaluated with

Silly silly Elizabeth... I used to think that too
Just get life done with and die or something.....
But now I'm really happy that i got to know you.... my life isnt always that great.... well I'm usually down and gloomy and all that but I still have things that make my life worth living

British accent is cool? I thought that German accent was cool.... I mean not for English but when they're speaking German
I want to learn German
But my father says I shouldnt because nobody really uses German except for the German people.....

Those things are all things that I wish I was good at! (except science.... i hate science and math)
What's HSIE?
I thought you played the...... umm... netball or something.....
What was it again?

Umm...... I dont know! It's just unfair!
O-O.... Elizabeth so mean!
Hahahas maybe he has a secret secret cruch on you Elizabeth

Elizabeth..... I never knew that you had gone so far.....
You're like an Elizabeth I never knew......
Umm...... ahh..... Uuuguu.....
If I was there i would have totally scolded you right now
But you'd probably kick me and swear at me saying something like "Go away you homo" and I would be like totally go pyscho and commit murder and drink beer until I puked and have a hangover and stuff.....

Kids dont like pokemon anymore?!?! 0_o
I used to cry for hours when the first pokemon series ended......
I remember sitting in the room as I saw the ending credits telling me that was the last pokemon episode
I was so sad and torn apart... I was heartbroken that i couldnt see pikachu and charizard anymore.... oh and bulbasaur.... he was my favorite.
Psshha! I talk about that too but kids these days arent cute at all
I tell them not to play with the cutter knife and they're like "We're old enough to do whatever we want you fag".....
They're totally not cute anymore
But my cousins are just soooooooo adorable
It's a good thing they're not into those things yet.... well they're not old enough but it's still a good thing
I'll probably see them in Japan when I go to college
And they'd be in elementary And I'll take them to amusement parks and zoos when I get my pay
It's so cool to think about the future... but so depressing as well

Good good Elizabeth
Oh i love that soda! But I think it's called virgin and not virginia...... the orange flavor's really good though
Wait... how do people have sex on trees? That's just insane and retarded

No i wuz thinking kids these days dont know how to spell things correctly....
Actually kids these days are just crazy
I'm not gonna drink or smoke or do any of those stupid things
And people will think I'm so lame and not cool and all that
But why should I care? I'm gonna protect my children from the impurities of the world....
Not gonna let them go all secular on me
What are parents doing anyway? Watching porno with their children and smoking infront of them or something?
Let me see..... 6th grade.... lets see I remember I was 8 years old when I was in 3rd grade.... So I was 11 in 6th grade? 0_o
Let me recalculate... I'm 15 now.... Im finishing 10th grade..... so I guess I was 11 in 6th grade as well Elizabeth.....

I cant believe you're growing up so fast TT-TT
Wait a second..... I need to give you a birthday present.... but last year's gift wasnt good enough
I need to make something better and fancier and that costs more..... but I dont know anything....
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *panic mode*
Wait... 11..... Hmm for some reason I was keep thinking you were 12 until now.....
Gay people arent that bad...... but they're kinda creepy.... I see way too many gay people and transexuals around here
It just seems wrong.... but they're still people.... and as long as they dont touch me! I am fine
But I wouldnt want my children to be gay though
Sleeping bags are cool! It feels like a cacoon and it's warm and cozy and you feel like a sushi
Psshh girls are so weird
What do they see in guys anyway? They just date guys to be popular and stuff

You have a great voice Elizabeth
But I think you need more confidence... Otherwise you have great taste in music and tone
Oh and I remember the cat mask and all that.... although I only read like 2 volumes.....
I'm gonna ask.... why Elizabeth? Why does it alway have to do with heterosexual love?
I guess you're quite popular Elizabeth

I wanna grow up! It's so stupid! I only tend to mention my age to you since you wouldn't laugh at me or anything... Cause when I keep quiet about being 11 people think I'm in junior high And I kinda like having all the older boys melt in my presence
Aww! How cute you are! You're like a cuter version of Natsume! (I LOVE NATSUME!)

I'm barely ever gloomy and dull! That kinda depends who I'm talking to.... I'm bubbly and weird around the girls, I'm dark and moody around the boys I know well, I'm sweet around my relatives and I'm "inappropriate" around boys I'm not close with ^_^ Yeah I know... Weird.... Lets see... I'd probably marry a guy I just met for a day... Since I don't really go for people I'm close with cause it makes me depressed to have to see someone I like having me as his wife... That's why I tend to dump my boyfriends after a day or two, don't like getting attached to people....

HSIE stands for Human Society In it's Environment ^_^ It's where we learn about the evil outside world ^_^ Our teachers haven't talked to us about sex and stuff yet but they don't really need to since like 90% of us already know these stuff.... I first learnt about it when I was... Umm... 4? When I asked my mother what was sex she gave me an encyclopedia... then I asked her what was rape and she gave me the encyclopedia again... I asked her what perverted is and she gave me an encyclopedia... So since then I just didn't ask her and asked other people instead... I remember when i was 8 or 9 or 10 I asked a boy what intercourse meant! Who did I ask...? I think it was Ray or Ysaac... I don't remember... one of them anyway... how stupid of me... Then when I was 9 or 10 I asked Ray what a french kiss was.... And he just said "Oh... You wanna try or something?" He's so perverted... like... seriously.... I remember when it was library time, Dira, Kira, Aiko, Kane, Laura and me were sitting at the far corner of the library behind the shelves where only we sat and.... Laura was talking about the time when her kindergardener teacher was teaching her about sex... And when she was 5 her boy cousin let her watch porn... How... Perverted... And how the teacher taught her about sex... It was just... So... Wrong... And... Our parents are so blind and deaf... They thought we couldn't hear them... Ugh... So wrong... And Aiko, Kane, Dira, Kira and Laura took turns to read this stupid book about sex... So wrong... Of course I didn't read it Imagine if Ian were to see me reading it! He would say something evil... Anyway... i'm not interested...

When I said virginia.... I didn't mean soda... I mean they nicknamed me the name "Virginia" Right... Kids are twisted nowadays...
It's not like I'm popular at my school or anything.... I'm just well known for my... Attitude? ^_^ The glasses really make me look crappy... but then again some people like the whole glasses girl things
It would be really wrong to have sex on a tree.... Who made up that song... I don't know... But... It rhymes so i guess I won't complain....

We don't date guys to be popular and stuff... Don't mock me... You're starting to get as irritating as Ray... So same goes for guys... Do you date girls to be popular and stuff?

merged: 05-24-2008 ~ 02:10am

Quote by vatican92
Eli-chan!
Ahh.... life is so stressing.... I took an exam today and I have another one tomorrow
I really really hate long exams..... i had to write 2 hours non-stop! I didnt even have time to think and I dont even remember what I wrote TT^TT

Well anyway.... I just dont get you Elizabeth
Why would you want to become all old and...... old?
That's totally not cool ya noe? Just kidding but.... personally I just dont wanna become old
I wanna be.... around your age..... or younger
I dont have fun anymore...... being old is just..... so dull
You just get to the point where you accept everything that there isnt anything left
Nothing is interesting or fun anymore because you know everything when you're old
Well not everything but the world is more.... obvious
Everything becomes evident

Heh? So you like older boys?
Natsume? Isnt that the weird annoying little boy?
Masaka...... Could it be that Eli-chan is actually a shotacon?!

What is bubbly anyway?....
Aahh.... I see.... That's quite.... hmm.... I do that too
I'm different around whoever I'm with and the situation depends as well
Well... you sure arent romantic Elizabeth
And that's just stupid
I'd never marry someone who I met for a day and I would never fall in love at first sight
That's like.... impossible.... something merely triggered by a sudden aesthetic impulse

So that's what it means... that sounds cool
Although I would prefer to take ecology classes

I learned about it when I was around your age as well Elizabeth.....
in 6th grade... and I was like....... People do this to have babies?! And I wuz like totally disgusted
Maybe that's why I want to adopt my children?..... Hahahax
Well... nothing to do with that... just want to adopt my children that's all
I dont really want children of my own as for now

Elizabeth..... I am appalled! What has this dirty stinking world done to you!
Me is very sad TT__TT
Tell the truth Elizabeth... You are interested arent you?!
Aaahhh you perv! Get away >o< Dont touch me!
Girls shouldnt like that kinda stuff....
If they do...... the world would be..... totally perverted....
There are enough perverted boys in this stinking sthinkin world

Oh I see..... Then I must be Viriginio since I'm a guy
I'm sure you are Elizabeth.... but I hope you arent famous for being perverted
O yeah..... you wore glasses.....
Ah.... glasses!...... heh?..... People like girls with glasses?
Never heard of that one although I wanted to try glasses on..... but they said my eyes were fine when I'm staring mindlessly for over 10 hours a day into a monitor that discharges who knows how much static?
But glasses are so bothersome.... from what I've seen
They always fall off when you're playing sports, when you're taking a shower in the locker room, you need to put it somewhere safe, it presses the nose bone so your nose might look weird after a while, you always need to clean them, it might brake if you put it anywhere, it hurts your eyes and you cant see without them.... Wow..... how do people live with glasses/contact lenses?
I feel soooooo lucky..... but my eyes will burn out sooner or later..... sadly

Yes..... and that is totally illogical.... trees have feelings too you know!
And tree huggers will kill you for that!

........ Aaahhh! You hate me! TT__TT
No no.... from my knowledge of the male kind, guys just date girls because they like their...... ehem..... body features and want to do perverted stuff
I dont think guys will date for popularity.... Aaah... I hate being a guy.... but I wouldnt want to be a girl and look at those sick perverted guys... and I wouldnt want to be a homo or bi either....
since I dont like either

O yeah..... you wore glasses.....

I scored a 100% in maths... 90% in music... 100% in art... 96% in drama... 90% in chinese... 85% in sports... 100% in HSIE and English... 100% in computers... 100% in history... 90% in science... Uh... Malay... 36%.... Don't be mean.... I scored A in everything else! Stupid! I nearly got straight As! TT^TT

Knowledge isn't gained in time... You could be 10 and know more about the world than someone that's 78 year old... Lately it's getting harder to act... I'm really sick of being happy.... I noticed I'm getting prettier and prettier ^_^ Lots of people said I'm much more beautiful than when I was younger... So i guess if I grew older I would be prettier... If I'm prettier than everyone would like me.... And if everyone likes me I could probably become a singer... Looks matter.... Even if you say it doesn't, in reality it does.... Anyway I promised myself I'll die when I'm 30 Imagine how old and wrinkly I'll look when I'm 30! I'll cry waterfalls on the year 2027 on the 5th day of september! That'll be the day when I become an old hag and everyone will hate me!

Well I don't really care if they're older or not as long as they're not younger than me! I wouldn't marry anyone shorter than me, 1 day younger than me or anyone who looks younger than they are! That just makes me feel old... I don't care if you're 3, 5, 7, 12 or even 20 years older than me! I just don't like anyone younger than me! Natsume isn't annoying! He's cute! Shotacon.... Uh... no...

Bubbly is like... Cheerful? Something like that ^_^ I'm unromantic...? Love isn't all about romance? I don't believe in love at first sight either And I never said I was going to love my future husband...

I learnt about it when I was 5... I knew long ago, wwayyyy before I was in middle school... Unlike you I don't get disgusted very easily so I didn't say anything.... It's not THAT disgusting.... Wow... Sometimes I think I'm more mature than you are

Uh.... I think you're jumping to conclusions/.... What makes you think I'm perverted...? I'm not THAT perverted that I actually watch porn or anything... But then I'm not THAT innocent that I think it's disgusting.... Eh.... I'm not THAT sweet that I ignore it and never talk about that subject... I'm not THAT wrong that I kiss every random guy that walks pass me... I'm not THAT normal that i just think "whatever" what it comes to the topic... But I guess I am perverted enough to not think it's gross ^_^ So... Yeah... More towards the perverted side.... But I'm not going to rape you or anything... geez... And... no... I'm not famous for being perverted.... Amy and Lauren are though... They are wwayyyy popular...

Glasses aren't that bothersome after you get used to them... It is kinda bothersome sometimes I guess... I'm gonna get contacts next year.... I'll change my hairstyle too... Some boys think the glasses thing is cute since I look sweet and innocent and easy-to-get when I just sit there quietly... They jus ASSUME I'm easy-to-get just because I wear glasses! Hah! BUT THEY ARE SO WRONG! WWAYYY WRONG! I'm famous for being really good at slapping people yay!

Don't insult the female race you perverted freak!

Quote by vatican92Marisa heki?
Havent talked for a while..
How are you these days? What's going on?

oh geezs hey, i thought u quit of something O_O
anywho, yeah i'm fine. my hardware got screwed so i had all my stuff lost *weeps in corner* but besides that, things r fine. did some fiiiiine community service today *grabs a box of tissue and starts blowing* damn allergies
what about u? genki?

merged: 05-19-2008 ~ 03:14am

Quote:
Nope.... just freakeeshlee busy
How's high school? Adapting to the new ecosphere?
Aahh... manmade technology.... always give you trouble
There there *gives you some foo-foo* (dont ask me what this is.... I just read it in the book but it's suppose to be some kind of food.... doesnt it sound funny though?)
My computer's screwed up as well
U have allergies? I have cat allergies....... So go away Mr. Tuxy
I'm alive... just freekeesheelee stressed out and almost at the point of psychologic breakdown.....
Anywho see ya around soon later never again forever in the parallel dimension and all that
Mata ne

merged: 05-18-2008 ~ 10:14pm
Oh... and isnt Fuuko just incredibly cute?

geez that must suck =/. is it the hw or something?
heck no . high school absolutely sucks . the people there r mean and sometimes i even wonder if i have any true friends . i keep trying to stay patient and hopeful but i swear, the patience is wearing off, and i'm losing confidence.
lmfao i actually know foo-foo lmfao . i tried it...it's like some plantain flour thingie-ma-jig and it tastes like a hard lump of mash potatoe . or maybe ur foo-foo is different from my foo-foo O_o (it IS an hilarious word )
i had a whole year learning about how to fix pcs but what's so sad is that none of that stuck in my head TT_TT. lol as for u...*pats head* there there, lol
NUH-UH! DON'T BE TALKING TO MAH BABE-BE LIKE THAT! *snaps my fingers in ur face* HE CAN BE WHERE EVER HE LIKES! *flips the finger and walks aways with tux in my arms* it's alright my love, i solved THAT problem already
geezs what have they been doing to u O_O...even i am a little afraid to know O_o'....
alright then, jaaa nee

I posted, edited and deleted this post so many times! More than 10! What should I say...? Umm... Most of the posts were long so I deleted them again and again and I'll just get to the point... You don't have to come online and you don't have to try so hard to love me... It's okay.... Woah... Short post.... This was so long at first... Okay don't wanna take up your time! Bye! Hope you'll feel better soon ^_^

merged: 04-23-2008 ~ 06:23pm

Quote by vatican92
Elizabeth sorry
I cannot stay long once again
Im trying to drop by at least for a short while though
Umm it's okay even if it's long Elizabeth
Although I may not reply to everything, I'll read it
I'm not trying that hard Elizabeth
Because you just make me love you even when I'm feeling down
I havent changed a lot but I suppose I am changing little by little
I am scared that this will last long.....
It's really.... scary and painful not being able to really stir up any emotion
I feel like I am somebody else... or I feel that I am not alive from time to time.....
Anyway.... I hope you are safe.... and feeling well
See you soon Elizabeth

.... I'm sure not feeling yourself is a normal thing... I never feel myself.... But the reason I don't feel myself is probably different from yours but I don't feel myself cause I lie a lot... And you can lie to yourself... Sometimes you lie so much you think it's real... I guess I tell myself after that, that it was all a lie but lies become real when you lie for a long time... God gives... And he takes ^_^ God can't be perfect... God won't be perfect... God isn't perfect... If you asked him if you should die for someone... If god said yes, it would be foolish won't it? Because if you die for someone... That person you died for is going to live in misery for the rest of his/her life... And the people who love you would be miserable, pitiful and sad... But if god said no that would be foolish too because you're being selfish to let that person die and only care about yourself... But you can't say that either... Nothing is right or wrong.. The devil isn't bad... God isn't good... I don't believe in such things... Humans were the ones who make right and wrong... Humans made time.... What's 1am and what's 3pm is made by humans... And the definition of right and wrong were made by humans too... I don't know if I'm right or wrong, we make our own right and wrong... Everyone thinks differently... There's a thing as alike but there isn't the same... I'm making no sense! Eeek!
Isn't scary and painful an emotion? haha! You're really cute you know that? I just feel like pinching your cheeks!

merged: 04-29-2008 ~ 08:03pm
Like my teacher says! "There isn't right or wrong, only differences" ^_^ So... You believe in god! And I don't Anyway! The can opener agrees with me! It's a girls thing, you know the thing that you use to open soda that metal small piece thing... That can opener thingymebob...
I can't tell happy from sad sometimes... In fact I seriously cannot tell the truth from a lie It's just the same... Trusting... Is a stupid thing to do... I don't remember the last time I kept my guard down... Even when I'm asleep, one little sound and I'll wake up.... Keeping your guard down is foolish... You can't trust anyone... because everyone is lying...
yeah I guess that type of feeling of not feeling yourself and all the stuff is new to you but you'll get used to it... We're born on... Something like ice.... If you don't want the ice beneath your feet to break... Then don't put your guard down.... Never... Do something as foolish at that... Like what I love to say! "At first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence of trying and don't let them know you care" I would rather die a thousand times.... Then let the ice beneath my feet, be stained in a drop of shame... In life, everyone is your enemy...
Oh you missed me? Yeah sure! That lie is so old! I won't ever, think that you actually love me ever again... Emotions.... Are one of the heavy objects you're carrying... I've learnt to throw away my emotions one by one... Hopes.... Happiness.... Trust... Love.... They are all heavy objects that break the ice.... I will never... Ever let the ice under my feet break.... So... I don't see what's so bad about losing the ability to feel.... Weird humans...

merged: 05-13-2008 ~ 07:16pm
It's okay... You don't have to come online if you can't

merged: 05-17-2008 ~ 10:15am

Quote by vatican92
Elizabeth.......
Aaaahh!
I just dont know anymore
What exactly is going on..... I'm just so fed up with everything.....
I cant even think straight these days.......
I dont like myself for always making excuses.....
I truly do want to spend more time with you... but my mind is always so preocupied by something stupid....
Oh Elizabeth..... and I.... decided
I decided that I am going to japan for college
I'll probably be studying Japanese for a year or something in korea while serving in the military or something..... I dont know yet but I really do hope to go to Japan and my parents allowed it
Now I just need to study hard and somehow prepare the money.......
But for right now... I cant really get any inspiration to do anything......
Anyway..... how was your day Elizabeth?

Japan? It's more expensive there you know.... A lot of stuff is more expensive there... I have the money to go to whatever college I want but I prefer one in England cause they have better music schools ^_^
Anyway.... Japanese is too hard to learn.... But then not really since the japanese kanji looks like chinese characters...
Hows my day? Well I just came back from camp yesterday.... I got a few bruises on my hands and legs cause when we were swimming.... I was walking on sand underwater and then there was a deep hole with rocks.... I couldn't breathe for a few seconds because I was underwater and then when I got back up I was crying and Ian asked me if I was okay and I kicked sand into his mouth It's his fault! There was so much sarcasm in his voice! And also... My cabin in camp last year was in the boys section right beside the boys cause the girls rooms didn't have anymore space.... And this year again my room is beside the boys and is in the boys section... I'm seriously unlucky.... And one of them always manages to climb into my room through the window! But at least I got to steal Ian's key so okay But they always think I can't hear them and talk about girls every single day but it's not like the room is soundproof.... Me, Kane, Recca and Kira were the only girls there.... The rest of the girls were far far away... Kane, Recca and Kira usually aren't there though since they prefer feeding monkeys and goats.... So I'm usually hanging out in one of the boys' cabins... And I just learnt another version of "__ and __ Sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G First comes love then comes marriage then comes a baby in a golden carriage" The new version is much more perverted... But it rhymes a lot more! We were singing it on the bus on the way back, the teachers there didn't care though

merged: 05-18-2008 ~ 12:35am

Quote by vatican92
Kyaaa! Elizabeth!
I miiiiiissssssseeeeeddddd u!
Yeah..... it is expensive..... My family has a hard time just paying for my high school
So I really need a scholarship..... but I'm probably not academicly approved enough for one.
I probably have to get a part time job while going to college or something
I will stay in korea for a year to study Japanese though...
I dont know if i'll enter korean college first and study a year of Japanese then transfer to japan or just study japanese privately then go to japan.....
I still havent completely decided yet
I thought through a lot...... my future looks so dark and scary right now
In 2 years I'll be out from this protected environment and into the cold and unforgiving world TT^TT
England I see.... My father suggested that I consider England as well
But I didnt really like British colleges...... I heard that they focus too much on tradition and sentimental stuff
And for some reason England doesnt sound too interesting for me.....
England is probably a more easier option for college entrance for me but England is still expensive for me and I dont even know what to do if I were to go to a British college
I see that you are following the path of music
I know that you'll do great things wherever you go and whatever you do Elizabeth
Well kanji is actually chinese letters but the meanings are probably different
I heard that japanese is hard as well
Japanese use a lot more kanji than korea but I heard that the grammar is almost identical to korean and the expressions are very similar to korean and i heard that it's almost similar to korean so if you just learn the letters and the words, it's quite easy to learn japanese if you know korean.

Huh?!
You cried infront of Ian? That's so unfair
Anyway it's good that you are not hurt bad
That's why i never go swimming..... so much chance that I'll end up dying
Eli-chan doesnt know how to swim?.....
I dont really know how to swim... I had swimming class for few years in my school but I still cant swim for some reason.....
I see other guys floating very well but I just sink right away
They say you need more body fat if you want to float better but the thin and fit guys float very well and I'm always the only one floating

You shouldnt have kicked sand on him though
Once I did that to my friend... I dont remember why I did that but I felt really really sorry afterwards....
He apologized to me even though I was the one who threw the sand......
I miss him..... well we're still keeping contact so it's okay although he seems busy as well these days....

Are camps always so unorganized?
Really? you should kick him in the kidney and tell him to get out
Hmm.... what are kids learning these days?....
Society has turned so violent and it has ethically declined so much
When I was young, we used to play with pokemon and dragonball little missy *strokes long beard*
The boys were always playing war games or trying to win over pokemon cards and girls were always....... I dont know what they were doing because the only girls I knew back then were my friend's sisters..... and they played pokemon with us....... hey! where is my kane you little punks?
Aah my spine.... must be getting too old for this walking thing.....

When I went to camp, we slept with the girls once
We went camping to the beach, it was raining and the only rainproof place was very small so we drew a line and the boys slept on one side and the girls on the other side
My sleeping bag almost got wet there TT^TT
And the disgusting sea creatures!

Hmm.... they always talk about girls i see.....
Beh... that's natural I suppose....... but guys talk more about perverted stuffs because they're..... you know..... They're just guys
You should just understand it cant be helped but dont let them get perverted with you Elizabeth
Tell them to buzz off cuz you dont need to hear about those stuff...
I went camping (sort of) last year and the guys there never talked about girls.....
They talked about spiritual stuff...... maybe it's because our school is christian
You know there was a student that was possessed by a spirit last year at camp
I didnt see it though... I was in my cabin rolling around in my bed

Golden carriage is perverted?.....
Adults these days are so indifferent and self centered......
But I'm going to be a very good father and care for my children
I heard that adoption is getting easier..... but they still probably wont let me adopt without a spouse
Then I need to get a high paying job..... but writers dont get paid a lot!
And they have to spend a load of time writing and thinking of what to write so I wont have much time to spend with my kids TT^TT
NNOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWUUUUOOOOOOXXXXX
I AM YO GRANDFATHER IN LAW LUKE SKYWALKER!
Wow I'm hyper today......
Must I give up my dreams and pass it on to my children?......
I learned in an anime that even though if you give up your dreams...... your children are worth giving up your dreams for.....
Have you seen that anime as well? I'm not telling you which one though
But I dont really have techniques or skills for other jobs....
The only thing I can do well(sort of) is writing mediocre stories with very bad vocabulary.... and I can only write in korean......
You're lucky Elizabeth..... you can write well and you can play music, draw.... you can basically do anything well
I used to wish that I was good at art..... or music
Recently I've been listening to pianos and violins and I was sooooo jealous of those people who played my favorite songs so well on their instruments
I used to want to be a soccer player, lawyer, dentist, baker, cooker or painter but I realized I was so bad at all those things
Ahhh! Anyway I'll stop talking Elizabeth.... sory you had to read so much (if you did read it all)

By the way would you mind listening to this?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3CAKPfPMKBo
I found out about a group that plays string instruments including violin, chello and viola
I like their music
Anyway see you again soon Elizabeth

Woah.... I thought you were busy... I can probably get a scholarship... And I KNOW Ian's gonna get a scholarship... He was the overall academic award winner in year six in his first year transferring to my school... Stupid Ian...
Cold and unforgiving world....? I don't seem to be panicking... I just want to get my life over and done with.... If I was kidnapped I'm not going to waste my energy escaping.... I don't really care... Life isn't that fun anyway...
Kane-chan went to a british school, she has this really cool british accent!
I'm only good at music, art, drama, history, design technology, HSIE, english and science.... Ian's better at maths than I am... He got the maths award.... And umm... I'm not great at sports either...
Of course I can swim! My leg was caught in a HOLE with a bunch of ROCKS! I COULDN'T move!
Unfair that I cried in front of Ian...? Unfair for you? Or me?
Ian isn't my friend So who cares.... He deserves sand.... He pulled my hair! Insulted me too many times to count! Went into my room at camp and locked me out of my own cabin! He's sooooo perverted! He's probably ray's apprentice or something...
What are kids learning these days? The usual.... When someone calls you a female dog it means you're a bitch.... I know what all the bad words mean! Oh I remember Rhys chose the word intercourse for his spelling practice and he had no idea what it meant! That was priceless! He's so stupid! And Ian was going "Who's your girlfriend...? A monkey? Or a rock?" That was just hilarious...
Pokemon and dragonball...? Well in the present time... We play truth or dare.... Girls talk about who's cute and who's not.... Boys talk about terminators? o_O And they usually sneak into girls cabins.... I had to throw five shoes at 7 boys for coming into my room already on the first day.... haha... How... Uh... Hilarious? o_O
Of course I wouldn't let them do anything perverted to Queen Elizabeth But.... They renamed me Virginia.... I really do pity myself right now.... I'm sure 9% of the year sixes aren't virgins! I'm serious....
No... Golden carriage isn't perverted... THIS is perverted... "__ and __ Sittin' in a tree! Doin' somethin' they shouldn't be! Starts with an s and ends with an x! Oh my god they're havin' __" Uh... Not gonna say that word! Yes.... I bet you're thinking "What are kids learning these days?!" Most of the year sixes are 13! yay! Clap clap clap! I can be considered 12 I guess.... Since I'll be 12 soon ^_^ Yay me!
It's no biggy just sleeping with them especially since you're so far away from eachother! I went to my boy classmate's room and they sure are no where close to near And did you know 90% of the boys in year 6 don't care about being gay or not, they're perverted to everyone! And they treat me like a boy so they don't give me much trouble... But then I think they just don't care wether I'm a girl or not.... how insulting.... We were under a roof and we had a door and a window... I would never sleep in a sleeping bag... Did you know that 75% of the year 6 girls in my school have dated at least 3 guys and kissed them all... Wow... What are kids learning these days?

merged: 05-18-2008 ~ 12:39am
By the way.... I made a new video ^_^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKm5fx8beoo Do not ask me why it always has something to do with love! Cause I don't know why either! And all the boys in my class somehow got my phone number! Eeek!

Hnn... I knew I shouldn't have sent you a PM on my phone.... I forgot to check the spelling... Ugh... Well at least it was a PM then no one would think I have bad spelling! Because I do not! It's like when you type me it become of and of is me and uuaahhh!

Good evening.
Thank you for fav in the favorite it.

It might be good today.
Long-awaited Code Geass R2 was broadcast in Japan.
I also saw R2.
To tell the truth, it is shock.

Spoiler:

The development in the future is the enjoyment.

I'm still here,just that after my exams i stopped coming
when i decided to come back,finals were coming.................
well,i am here now!
won't be regular,though
now i am in 7 grade and we have the biggest class in the school
after my exams i went for a holiday with my mother to our hometown......
well,thats all
take care!
bye!

A question.... A slightly serious one.... If the devil could kill god.... He asked you wether he should kill god or me.... And he said he would let you pick who you want to live but you have to pick either god or me to get killed.... Who would you pick to die? Act like the devil can destroy god okay? :P And you can't say none or yourself or both or whatever! Have to say either go or Elizabeth..... Answer me truthfully.... I don't care if the truth hurts.... Just no more lies....
Oooo! AND! ^_^ I finished recording Aozora! I'm starting to make the video for your birthday now! ^_^ Though.... I have to say... Although I'm not much of a love romance story type.... I'm actually better with drawing, writing love stories, singing love songs, making videos about romance(I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT! Stupid god...) I tend to like love songs because almost all songs are love songs I guess.... NYA! I suck at making videos that aren't supposed to be depressing! I BLAME YOU! A-A.... Again...? Yeah! AGAIN! Why can't you be my husband! Hmpf! It'll be easier to make a video about you then stupid! Baka! Idiot! Sha gua! Babo? o_O Umm... Umm.... HOW DO YOU SAY IDIOT IN SWEDISH!?!?! I knew I should have asked for that swedish classmate of mine's phone number! AHHH! I BLAME YOU!
Oh! Yes ^_^ By the way... could you listen to this song that I like? ^_^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDQVf1OpFL4
Okay fine! Maybe I kinda just like the video then I liked the song! But hey! Can't blame me for liking love stories! Nya! I'm a GIRL aren't I? XP That's what girls do! Hehe! I started dating when I was 7! Hehe! What do you expect! Nya! But all the ex boyfriends are boring! KYAA! I FELL ON MY HEAD TODAY! I BLAME YOU! Hmpf! I don't love you anymore!(That's what I always say when I don't get it my way! Nya! I'm 11!) Juchanjuchan! YOU KNOW! I have to sing in this stupid church choir for the school! Nya! But since I get to have solo parts! SURE! I have to sing some song called "I vow to thee my country" or something for praying at the church for the people who died at war or some stupid god stuff.... Then I have to sing solo parts for some weird old song called "Where have all the flowers god" yep! I think that's it! Got a concert at the end of the year! ^_^ I'm going to do dancing and singing.... What should I dance to? And don't give me something like a stupid song called "All hale god" or whatever cause like I'm dancing hip hop or whatever you call it! It's all the SAME! You know... I looked at the mirror today and..... I so... so... so do not look 11..... I have 4 piercing in each year! I have purple highlights in my hair! I dress like... Like.... Well.... To put it in a good way.... I guess I kinda dress like some punk kid.... Hnn.... Whatever.... You know.... Everyone said that my school uniform looks like a nurse, a maid... Or a prostitute... Pretty insulted to be called a nurse.... Feel low to be called a maid.... And a prostitute is just... Woah.... Ummm..... Right... We have another girl's school uniform but it's below my knee and it makes me look like a goody two shoes! I'm already called a nerd because of my overly intelligent brain! That's why I never study cause the dumber I get the better XP But yet again.... The dress that makes me look like a nurse/maid/prostitute is bad too.... And..... A MAID?!?! I LOST MY DIGNITY! And... And... A NURSE?!?! I FEEL ASHAMED! And... Most of all.... A... A PROSTITUTE!?!?! AHHH! I think being called perverted would be better.... Ugh.... My dignity just went down the drain.... So.... Ju-chan... Should I wear the dress that makes me look like a maid/nurse/prostitue(Hah! This reminds me of the perverted anime shows where the maid and nurses always attract perverted guys like you idiot) or should I wear the blouse and skirt that makes me look like a goody two shoes?

Quote by vatican92With the sparklies it would have been lovely

True ^^ But every time I tried it sucked :P

Quote by vatican92

I live in an area called Cainta, Rizal
Subic? I didnt know people lived there
I thought Subic was a tourist spot
I've already been there and was fantastic...... although I am terribly afraid of insects and sea creatures there
And there were lots of monkeys on the beach..... so that was scary

Well yeah..... But if I dont copy, I cant draw anything at all.....
and I'm not joking
Well I guess we all have to try harder to improve

ooh... cainta. tch, so far, i can't go there...

i thought you live in there because most of the korean tourists who decided to stay here stays there
i haven't been there, i'm envious, joke!

it's really okay to copy, we're just beginners ^_^
it doesn't matter if it's your original or not. what matters most for me is you did your best to do it ^_^

Quote by vatican92Eli-chan......
I cant stay for long so I'll reply ASAP
School started today and we already have projects and exams tomorrow........
Aaahhhh! Cant wait for summer break......
Please stay safe Elizabeth......
And always remember that I love you

Oh... You love me now is it...? Why don't you run to god and be friends with him then...? I don't know... Marry god's daughter..... Pity.... I nearly could have died today.... Climbed onto the school roof and I was going to slide down and fall but a teacher saw me before I did it and I got a stupid lecture about bla bla bla and he asked me a bunch of stupid questions that make me want to get out of this stupid human world even earlier.... If I could say two words to god I would say "You've won" Because he really did..... He won.... He managed to make my life a living hell.... I hope he's happy... And.... If you go on god's side and not mine.... I promise from the bottom of my heart... I swear... I'll definitely... Absolutely.... Kill myself in two seconds flat.... Or if I'm lucky I could just cut my throat and die in about... A second or so? I hate myself for liking you so much.... Ironic.... You were supposed to make me happier.... But hey.... I'd say the same words to you too.. "You've won" Now I know.... That I will never be number one to anyone.... Never was.... You might say that no one can be perfect.... God is much more kinder then me I know..... he so called sacrificed his so called child for humans and I'm so selfish that I don't die for my people.... But if you think about it.... I am dying to make this world a better place.... To make this cell I'm locked up in go away so that everyone can rejoice because the god hater is gone..... God may have felt a lot of pain... He may have done this and that.... But look at him now... He's so great..... He's so great that my mother can call me hell's child for saying god wasn't real.... He's won by a long shot.... No matter how hard I try.... I will never be first to you right...? Even if I died a hundred times.... Even if I lived my hellish life over and over again.... I can never ever come first to you right...? I can never be even close to how much you love god.... But I thank you.... Because I've won this cell.... I broke through her stupid smile and this cell and breaking apart bit.... by bit... Don't say "I can never make you happy" or "No mortal can ever surpass god" "God has always been there for you you've just not noticed" But.... Ju-chan... You know when you get cut? The first cut hurts... The second hurts more.... The third one becomes numb... The fourth cut starts to feel like just an ant bite.... The fifth one starts to feel like nothing... And the sixth one and more just feels so normal.... Like an everyday thing....Lilwolfmaiden and I.... I'm sure... That if you took our place in life.... Even if I'm just a small girl and you claim that teenage life is cruel.... I promise you... That if you took our place..... You'd hate god in 1 minute.... "I hate you" "You're a mistake" "Don't you dare tell them the truth" "Why am I your mother?! If only! If only you weren't here!" "I hate you!" "Go to hell!" "Please just leave me alone" "You disgust me" "Your sister could have done way more better "It's all your fault" We've heard those words... So many times that it doesn't hurt so much anymore..... Ju-chan..... For me to even.... Not hate god.... is...... Like you asking me to go back in time..... I'm sorry but.... I think.... I ran out of masks..... If I smiled one more time..... I'm going to crack.... I'm just taking my sadness out on you.... Sorry.... It's not your fault really.... It's not god's fault either.... Everyone takes me as the happy girl that never cries..... But.... I can't take it anymore... Sorry... Gotta stop here! ^_^ Talk to you anymore and I think I'm gonna flood the house! I've almost covered the whole keyboard with my tears so not surprised if I cause a flood!

Quote by vatican92

Quote by TreeFarieAaliyah

Hmm...I actually don't think the job of students is to be academically recognized...but I guess a lot of students do push for that...

Lol. Yeah. My school does too...(in my opinion) And I actually think they do a pretty good job of organizing all the midterms and finals...however, it's still stressful. -.-'

Ja ne!

~Nissa~

Well no you are not obliged to get recognized but it's your aim
Or at least learn something useful that they might use in the future

My school isnt organized at all for the finals
You have to work out the schedule if there's an overlap in the exam and there's so much spare time between exams and sometimes they just cram all the hard exams in one day and put all the easy ones in another

Well c ya

Yes, true.

Oh that sucks... My school's really organized then...on final's week, there's no classes and there's two tests per day (Mon through Fri). It's organized by subject and they assign which classes take it where (in the dining hall or the indoor tennis courts--losts of space).

I'm so tired right now. -.-' *yawns* It's not even late...-.-'

Quote by vatican92

Why thank you
But maybe it's a coincidence but I live in the Philippines
It's been a year since I've last been to Korea
I left Korea when I was........ 5 or 6..... I dont even remember....

Thank you but I find my works very..... simple
All I do is copy and that's not my own work
I want to draw something of my own one day.......

WHAT?!?!? you live here? you ARE here? where? manila? subic?

hm.. about your works, it's okay if you copy it, i mean, everyone who wants to draw starts from copying *including tracing*. i too started from that, unfortunately, until now i'm still copying and my works did not improve a bitT_T. sigh... will i ever learn? LOL

just do it and have fun

Hi Vatican! Just spamming your guestbook to wish you happy holidays ^^ I hope you'll have a good time.
Don't eat too many chocolate, okay?
Well, see ya around~

Quote by vatican92
Stupid in Korean?...... it's babo.....
You are born talented Elizabeth.... and you are very gifted in a lot of ways
Do you like dancing?.....

Hmm I see.... that's still long
I got a haircut too.... a week ago...
Is your hair originally that way?

No Elizabeth.....
Why must you always hurt yourself?
I never understand why...

Well one day you're going to regret wearing high heels Elizabeth......
I feel fine wearing flat shoes
Id feel weird wearing high heels since I see women stumble every few steps

Well umm.... okay...
What you wear is your choice.... as long as it doesnt hurt you or..... something.....
I dont understand that either
Why would anybody want to be a teenager?
I'm glad that I only have like.... 3 or 4 more years until I escape from teenagehood......
But then again..... I hate being an adult just as much.......
I guess I'm going to hate myself for the rest of my life.....
Being a teenager doesnt mean that you're going to grow taller you know
You probably will but there are more horrifying side effects
So much drama and agony...... oh the wretched fiend.... of teenagehood
Why must you devor my hope and spit it out.....

I would love to be a kid....... Forever and ever
What was that called..... Nevereverland? or something?
Heh? Plum?..... I like plums.... they are purple and they taste nice....
Although the huge seed is way too annoying
Oh and peach... I loved peach since I was young
I wonder why so many fruits are so round..... Makes me want to roll them and play with them like a ball.......
Tangerine! I luv that too

Dont mind others Elizabeth
Just because other kids your age are drinking and smoking or having sex doesnt mean that you should the same!
I guess children changed....... generations pass down and a big culture shock..... and all that
Are you all that Elizabeth?
You are just you.... not because of your parents but because of yourself.....
And I always thought you were a kind person..... and that's because you're nobody else but yourself

You've been through a lot Elizabeth
I might not fully understand but I know that you have........
I dont know how much pain you have suffered but I know that you have been fighting and struggling inside.....
I must say that I dont really like what your signature and avatar says..... Makes me feel sad......
And I dont like sad anymore...... I dont want to be sad... or depressed or bitter to the world......

Elizabeth....... Elizabeth......
I can accept everything Elizabeth
I can accept how you dress, how you look, how you talk, what you do, what you think......
But it hurts me a lot....... unbearably to know that you should hate God so much.....
I've hated him too...... I hated him so much that I thought the same way....
That I'd rather die and go to hell than to love such a putrid God.....
But I was wrong..... I never knew who God was......
I'm sure that you dont either Elizabeth.....

I am rather glad Elizabeth......
Of course...... I wanted you to like me..... but I didnt want you to like me too much......
After all.... we are all going to be gone one day......
You know... I still think I can give my life for you
But the only person I love more than you is God.......
I cant help it Elizabeth...... I wouldnt give you up for any human....... but I would only give you up for God......
But.... at least while I am alive..... I dont want to let you go......
I dont want to say goodbye to you.....
I dont know how much longer you will feel that you need me but I wont leave you for anything in the world

That's Aaron?..... I dont really like that kind of hair....
Seems all bushy and hot......
I like my hair plain and simple
Not too long or not too short........

Ba... Bo...? Somehow it sounds incredibly weird to me... Reminds me of baboon...
Dancing...? Nnn... It's okay.... I did ballet for like 4-5 years? But I fell and well I can still walk and dance... A bit... But my ankle doesn't work as well as it used to so I quit....
My hair isn't originally that way.... My original hair when I never ever cut it or anything was like... It started straight then when it reached my shoulders it became really really really really faint waves then around my waist it started to be slight waves then it becomes really wavy.... My hair was about.... Until my hips...? I think.... Don't remember much.... I don't take many pictures either.... But my hair was pretty much jet black when I was little but as I grew older the colour became duller and paler and browner... And my hair colour started to become more milky.... And now it's darkening again... Weird.... And my eyes used to be like dark brown then around 5, 6 or 7 or something it became so black you could barely see my pupils.... My grandmother considered me "freaky".... Nnn.... Now it's my fault I change colour...? And I was darker when I was younger... My skin is getting paler and snowier... Ugh... I remind myself of a ghost.... Nnn...
Why must I always hurt myself...? Because I have nothing else to do and I'm bored.... Did that answer your question...? Nnn...
....It's easier to walk with high heels... But I usually wear boots with stockings but yeah I guess the boots are high too.... I don't like it when I'm near to the ground... Don't wear long skirts and stuff cause it's nearer to the ground... I tend to wear knee high boots cause it's further away from the ground...? I don't know.... Just don't like feeling the ground..... Much prefer to jump off the roof and not feel ground at all until I actually hit it.... But then I'll do that after I become a singer so yeah...
I'd kill myself when I'm 30... I seriously would... When I'm 30 I'll start having white hair and I'll be old! NYA!
Plums... Are... Nnn... Not red..... I don't really like things that aren't black or red.... If it's white maybe I'll let it go and gray is... Okay I guess... I like blood oranges..... Sweet and bitter.... Just like a bitter sweet ending... Hehe... Ysaac says I have a freaky giggle.... I guess I do... Since I only tend to giggle when I I'm holding a knife and cutting something.... Or when I think of something bad... I am freaky... I know.... I have a painting of jigoku shoujo's eyes that I payed someone to paint... MY whole wall is black.... I have rozen maiden dolls in my room... And yeah.... Freaky things....
I hate neverland.... Nightmare... Sometimes you seem more eleven than I do.... I don't think I act really eleven sometimes.... But I don't think I really want to commit suicide... Scary.... Maybe I'll just hire someone to kill me instead.... It doesn't really matter anymore.... I don't really expect myself to live that long anyway...
I don't follow whatever others do.... I do whatever is there for me to do.... Since I have a knife... Might as well use it.... If there was poison might as well take it.... If someone hated me... Might as well hate them back... If someone liked me... Might as well like them back.... If there's a book... Might as well read it.... If there's a cliff.... Might as well jump.... It doesn't matter what I do.... Just do whatever there is for me to do until that stupid god decides to put me out of my misery.... It doesn't really matter if I have to live forever.... Nothing really matters to me anymore.... Only singing matters.... Nothing else.... My parents could die for all I care....
No.... I didn't suffer anything..... I just don't care..... Everything is the same for me now... live to wake up.... wake up to live.... live to sleep.... sleep to live... live to see tomorrow.... see tomorrow to live.... And live to die... I just have to live today and tomorrow... The day after.... After that... After that.... And so on until I die.... It doesn't matter....
My mother enjoys throwing knives at me when god isn't there for her.... They can scold me for crying and saying I didn't believe in god.... It doesn't matter... I'm never going to be number 1 to anyone.... God comes first..... God always comes first..... But it doesn't matter anymore..... Just live and live and when I die, if there was such thing as being reborn.... I'd just do whatever people ask me to do and die in the end... I don't really care..... And I'm not lying.... I really don't care.... But if I were to lose my voice..... I'd really break..... And I would just care about everything like I used to.... I prefer not caring.... Because if I did.... I'd break.... If I didn't lie.... I'd just crack in front of everyone.... But like it really doesn't matter.... Nothing does.... My voice is slowly becoming something I don't care about anymore.... I'm not going to be best at singing.... I'd never be first in anything.... But it doesn't matter... I just want to get life done and over with.... I might marry.... Depends.... marry than break up after a while when I feel like it..... Doesn't matter.... Don't have to love someone to marry them.... Marriage isn't for life.... All my boyfriends last for a day or two.... They're all fragile.... They could fall if I just looked at them with my cold eyes.... They would be gone the moment I ask them if I was the most important to them.... They're like used up toys in the end... Pathetic.... They all bore me to death.... My husband is probably gonna last for a month or so..... Then he'd just get boring..... Whatever.... I mean... Even children get boring after a year or two.... Dump them.... I don't care.... Friends are like glass.... They'd break if I dropped them once.... But everyone are toys.... I know... I sound like some evil bad guy that uses her victims... Yeah I am.... The earth is the nursery room.... The skies are the furniture..... And everyone in it.... Everything in it... Are just toys..... That come and go.... And god is the toy maker.... He makes the toys.... For me to break..... And the devil is the trash can... That I dump all the used up toys into... Maybe god isn't that bad..... He just has to keep on making the toys and as long as he gives me a toy to play with.... Nothing matters... As long as I have a toy.... You could stab me and I wouldn't notice.... But god.... Should make higher quality toys... because.... They all break so easily.... Oh well... That's what the orphanage is for.... And that's what divorce is for.... And that's what the devil is for.... None of my friends, boyfriends, family or... I guess.... Even god.... Lasted for more than 5 months... I don't even consider you as an unbroken toy..... You're more like my favourite toy that likes the toy maker and soon you'd like another toy more than me.... Whatever.... Soon.... I'd break like all toys do anyway...
I like aaron's hair TT^TT And jiro wang's hair... And wu zun's hair... And calvin Chen's hair... TT^TT Ugguu....

Quote by vatican92

Thank you
But I dont have a scanner so I really can't post it online even if I draw them
But I really appreciate it

And thank you for the encouragement
Maybe I will start drawing some

hm.. that left me with no other choice but to go to Korea myself.. sgh, how i wish i could
i don't have a passport yet

you really have to draw more. your works are not as bad as mine, i saw i in your gallery

Quote by vatican92
Eli-chan~!~!
I missed you soooooo much
You might not believe me but I always thought about you everyday
All I can do is always apologize......
I never betrayed you Elizabeth
You're always my number one.........

You are a lot more talented than I am Elizabeth
And a lot more diligent......
I admire you for that.......

Cant you dance with some other shoes?

I see...... So how short is your hair now?
And no piercing Elizabeth
Never ever ever ever ever
Well...... I would be glad if you didnt.....

But stop wearing high heels
I just saw a documentary on high heels and they arent good!

I see....... so do you like wearing emo punk thingymabob?

And you shouldnt do anything that bothers you either while you are walking or taking any other motion

Well.... that's true.... but the world only gets more vile and horrible
Wow... I cant believe that you're already turning 12 this september.....
I dont remember anything...... from my sophomore year....
It feels like time goes faster and faster as I get older....
It feels like I only met you few weeks ago.......
You're already turning teenager in a year and a half TT^TT

Look more mature?....... I dont really understand why but... okay......

You shouldnt watch those kind of animes Elizabeth
Yes..... After I finished watching it I thought it was a waste of time as well
I just watched it just to finish the series since I started watching it.....
But every single episode.... made my blood boil and I wanted to kill Makoto every single second I was watching School Days
Good thing he died in the end.....
Well it's not only the violence Elizabeth
There are phychologic effects.... whether you find those impulsive or not
Like..... drugs....... well maybe not the best comparison but let's just skip that one

Elizabeth.... I know it's hard to not swear.... especially these days when the world is so corrupt and dirty.......
But please try not to..... especially when you're with younger kids..... actually kids your age...... or under
I can swear in Chinese too.......
They always teach you swear words first

I dont really like shopping either
Umm I dont know who Aaron is but I dont think I'll do that
I just want to leave my hair plain and simple.....
I dont really care much for fashion or hair style.....
Sorry...... I dont really like flashy things or things that stand out..... at least not on me

Oh come on Elizabeth....
It's very simple
Well then... you can say like.......
umm..... I dont know.......
But you can think God as your friend and talk freely to him....

Oh by the way..... can you listen to one of my favorite songs?
I downloaded it recently and I really like her voice......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRJfbrBaLdI

I have another song that I want you to listen to but it seems it's not on youtube.......

Take care Elizabeth.... I wont be online often starting tomorrow
I love you
I really do

..... .... Ba.... ka.... Stu... pid... sha... gua... How do you say stupid in korean....?
Of course I'm more talented.... I get talents in exchange for my sanity.... Pretty much....
Sometimes I don't even dance with shoes and I get blisters... Oww....
How short is my hair....? I guess... About shoulder length...? Now my hair style is it starts out straight then it starts to become slight waves when it reaches slightly below my eyes, then it becomes waves when it reaches my lips then it becomes slight curls when it reaches my neck and when it gets to my shoulder it's really curly... Hehe... And I have purple highlights in my hair now....
Piercings are.... Well... If I don't pierce... I stab So I prefer pain that still makes me pretty rather than pain that just gives me more scars than I already have....
I know high heels aren't good but I feel awkward when I wear flat shoes....
Emo punck stuff...? yeah... I guess I do.... I like mini skirts.... And shorts... I hate anything that goes below my knee.... Like.... We don't dress to cover... Well... Yeah we do... But Long skirts and pants look weird on me... And I like belts... Shiny.... They match my earrings... And I like ties..... So I can just choke myself whenever I need to.... Haha.... And I like stockings..... I don't know why... Just do... I don't like shirts that hang loose though..... It makes me look weird.... Anyway... Since I'm no where close to fat and I pretty much have figure so tight things look good on me... And I wear a lot of jewelry.... Nnn... Because I want to I guess.... Anyway.... When I dress like that people mistaken me for a teenager since I look punk and I'm taller now... And... Umm... It makes me happy...? Sorta....
What's with the tears....? I'm glad I'm becoming a teenager soon cause then I get to be taller..... And don't have to be one of does kids anymore... Though.... Everyone says I look older than 11.... I'm taller than most 11 year olds.... And.... I dress like some suicidal freak.... For some reason makes people think I'm older than I am.... And because I'm not plum and.... Umm.... Not as flat...? o_O I don't know.... I just don't look elevenish... If that's a word...
I shouldn't watch does kind of animes....? Oh please..... All the 11 year olds and up in my class watch shows that need parental guidance and it's 18+.... And I'm pretty kidish compared to most of them.... Like.... Aiko reads perverted mangas.... Kai and Sora kiss when the teacher's sleeping... haha... Which is so annoying since their sitting right behind me.... Also.... Kane paints her nails in class..... Some of the boys carved the sh word on the wall and it was carved so the teacher had to hide it with a painting... NNnn..... Kids aren't that angelic anymore are they...? And I'm seriously in no mood to be a goody goody.... I'm stubborn like my parents... Suicidal like my mom.... Selfish like my dad... Hot tempered like my mom... Cold hearted like none of them.... Harsh like none of them..... I'm emo and punk like none of them... I like it when people are hurt like none of them..... I take pain as a form of 'entertainment' like none of them.... Sometimes I wonder if I even am their child.... But there's one thing that tells me I am.... My father, mother and me lie.... I was brought up being thought to never trust and always lie because my mother said if I didn't everyone would hate me.... My mother only told me sad stories and she clouded my mind with the "how to kill yourself" book because she thought that if I heard all the cruelty in this world I would be happy of my life but she was oh so wrong.... I was thought to never speak of my family and always lie about it when I do.... I was told to never show my emotions and cry or hate or love because if I did that I would be a failure.... I can't tell the truth.... I know you ask me to not care about what others think and all that but the fact is I can't... Lying has just because an everyday thing for me now.... I lie oh so much I even learnt how to lie to myself and now I've just lost control of my brain and I don't know what's real anymore....
Swearing isn't a habit for me.... I control when I swear.... I swear because I want to.... Not because I need to or because I'm angry... i swear just because either I swear or I take it out of someone or I try to kill myself again and this pathetic cell I'm living in is to scared to jump so I just try my best to make my own life a living hell so this dumb cell would give up.... Oh yeah... Like my new avatar and sig and what it says?
I rather be a devil worshipper than ever... ever... ever talk to that damn god who just brought me into the world for his own bitchy amusement... I am sick and tired of being his little toy in the nursery for him to destroy in the end... I rather kill myself than ever... ever say a god damn word to god... I am in a really bad mood and right now I just want to jump off this cliff and say good bye....
It's a pretty song.... Oh... Speaking of songs.... My voice and the fact that I want to be a singer is the only thing holding me back from my suicide attempts.... You used to be one of the reasons I'm here but then.... It's a foolish thing to care about a human that's going to say sayonara soon enough....

merged: 03-20-2008 ~ 08:53pm
Oh yeah... By the way... If you wanna know who's aaron... Here's a picture of him http://p-images.veoh.com/image.out?imageId=user-ArronYanROCKS17.jpg&version=4

Quote by vatican92Caroline~!
Where in the world are you?

You gone for like..... billions of years

Come back TT^TT

hey there little vatican sama....:)
how are you?

Quote by vatican92
Eli-chama~
I missed you
Sorry.......... I am really busy these days.....
I know that's not really a good excuse but...... I just was..... Sorry Elizabeth
I'm going to be a lot more busier next year so I might barely come online
It's break for me now......
March break.... or Easter break......

How are you now Elizabeth?
I was sick for a week as well
Had a terrible cold and a slight fever
I dont know why but I still have that cold....... It's not going away.......

I blame myself as well.......
I'd do what I could if I was there but....... I feel so useless these days.........

You're funny Elizabeth
But you really shouldnt think about me when you're walking
Or anything else that hinders your concentration

Sneeze? I didnt think so.....
Maybe I just didnt notice but I never thought you were going to sneeze there
You do a lot of things when you're singing

Mature?.... I dont know....
You decide whether it's good or not
Elizabeth older?
TT^TT You're all grown up Elizabeth TT^TT
Now you must face the cruel world
You're still tall Elizabeth
We're only 8 inches apart......
And you still have a lot of time to grow when my growth spurt seems to have ceased
Your physical attribute doesnt make you an adult Elizabeth....
It's what's inside you that makes you an adult
If you have a pure heart of a child even when you're old...... you're still a child in your heart
And....... vice versa I guess.... although it's hard to think the other way around

Hahaha no Elizabeth
We dont have that kinda money
I'm grateful that my father actually bought a new computer after our old one crashed
Although the computer isnt that great, it's still quite suiting for me
Everybody seems to have an apple computer these days
Of course I dont understand what's so great about them
Ummmm.............
Yeah....... I pity the woman that I'll marry as well....... if I ever even get married
Guys like shoes as well you know
Although...... not as much as girls of course
I'm interested in basketball shoes and certain tennis shoes
Although I dont really care for it as much as others
It's just nice to feed my eyes on the shiny shoes sometimes since I dont have the money

What I'm trying to buy............ it's a secret!
I need to save about....... 3 more month without using a single penny
Then I'll be able to buy it!
And I'll be all happy for a while then I would regret buying it and using so much money on it

Eli-chan........
Please pray for me......
My heart is troubled....... and my sanity is constantly being tested.......
I love you

YOU STUPID BOY! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THAT! *pulls Ju's ear* FIRST YOU ABANDON ME NOW YOU BETRAY ME?!?!
You have strawberries for brains and mashed avocado for memories now!
BUSY?!?! BUSY?!?! I have to make a poster the size of a wall about some stupid satellite! I have to write a poem about how to be a water bottle! I have to make some stupid jingle for a bread! Some stupid powerpoint for a dog! And some stupid reflection about sausage! AHHHHH! I have to write a song about some god damn tree! I have to draw some stupid earth! I have to survey this dumb school! I have to do a zillion stupid other things! But then again... Hey I'm a genius without Ian as my rival now! But still! I have to write about my thoughts for a reflection! AND RIGHT NOW I'M THINKING OF TRYING TO DANCE WITH 4 INCH HIGH-HEELS! Oh... Reminds me.... I cut my hair.... I highlighted it purple.... I went for more piercings and I'm tempted to pierce some other awkward part of my body... Ooo! My belly button or my lip?! I have mastered dancing in 3 inch high heels! Yay! And I can back flip with 3 inch high heels! Sorry I haven't been online for a while.... Too busy dressing up like an emo and punk.... it was a dare... I have to be emo for the rest of the year....
Don't think about anything when I'm walking....? See.... You should have told me that earlier cause I hit the lockers while reading....
:sweat: Cruel world....? Aren't I already in it.... 2-3 years and I'll be 14... yay... Next year I'm 13... yay.... This year I'm turning 12....
Well I just want to look more mature.... I can be mature whenever I want to..... Just don't wanna.... Depends on my mood.... Well.... if it's how much I know(Nnn... Not as in how much the wise man knows.... that's just old...) then I guess I'm pretty mature.... I watched a few episodes of school days XP Though I found it pretty boring and perverted so I didn't watch all of it.... And I watch a lot of shows that say parental guidance but it's not much.... Just killing.... Seeing people get chopped in half or whatever.... Not much.... Pretty boring.... Nana was boring and perverted too but I just like Olivia's singing.... Olivia sang as Reira.... I swear more than usual now.... Because I made up with Kane and Aiko and Aiko's still swearing a lot... And now the swear words are stuck in my mind again.... Someone carved the f word on the classroom wall.... I can swear in 7 languages..... I can swear in Swedish, english, chinese, cantonese, indian, japanese and malay... I don't think that's something to really be proud of... But yeah... I can swear in Swedish cause I have a classmate that I use as a personal swedish insulter so I can insult someone without letting them know what I'm saying.... English cause my friends swear.... Chinese cause well.... My cousins swear a lot.... Cantonese cause my grandma, uncles and aunts swear... Indian cause a classmate of mine swears in indian all the time.... Japanese cause I tend to listen to songs with swear words in them.... Most of the songs with swear words are easier for me to dance to.... Malay cause my two best friends speak malay and their always swearing at each other in malaya... I know how to swear in some other languages too but I forgot....
I dislike shopping.... I only shop when I have to.... And when I want to.... You should highlight your hair brown and spike it up like aaron..... Or something....
Apple computers aren't great... I have one and it's useless... Since most things are programed to only be compatible to windows so I can't download them....
Right now.... praying would be the last thing I'd ever do..... Right now I feel more like killing god than praying to god....

Quote by vatican92

Umm I dont think my friends will want to see my drawings

Thanks
Hope you enjoy yours as well

*clears throat* if your friends wouldn't want to, then i'd love it if you'll show it to me

Quote by vatican92

Quote by TreeFarieAaliyah[q(...)
Ello vatican! It's been a whild since we last spoke! Sorry I disapeared yet again. -.-' As usual, I was busy with school. Anyways, how have you been?

At the moment I'm freaking out with school as well
I'm........ I just dont know really
But I feel mediocrely fine...... which means...... not that great...... but still alive
So whats up wiju?
Too caught up with life in high school?

Ugu. I hope you feel better...and freak out less...

I'm fine. I'm on vacation now, which is really good cause I was really stressed in the last week before it. Thank god that went quick.

~Nissa~

I'll be breaking down quite often from now on......
Have a semester exam in a few weeks and starting next year...... it's gonna be......
I dont even wanna think about it

i'm on my 3rd quarter break as well
Yah everbody needs a break about now.....
Ah...... 1 week is so short........
I'll be fine but hope you'll be as well

merged: 03-17-2008 ~ 04:34pm

Quote by TreeFarieAaliyah

Ugu. That's not good. Good luck.

I probably won't break down until the first week of June--finals week. I might get stressed around midterms and progress reports too...but yeah...those are the main stress times...

Yes. That's definitly true. And...one week is very short. After working so hard...some schools are cheap with their vacations.

Thanks!

~Nissa~

Thanx

Sometimes I wonder why I'm pushing myself for academic recognition.....

But then again.... we are students and dats our job

Our school rests quite a lot compared to other schools

That's why they cram all the exams and the projects together and it's quite stressing

C ya

Hmm...I actually don't think the job of students is to be academically recognized...but I guess a lot of students do push for that...

Lol. Yeah. My school does too...(in my opinion) And I actually think they do a pretty good job of organizing all the midterms and finals...however, it's still stressful. -.-'

Ja ne!

~Nissa~

Quote by vatican92

That sounds nice
Maybe I'll try drawing as well

I'm on break as well so I'm a bit relaxed now
I have a bit more time...... but I still have projects due @_@[/quote

yeah! you should try, it's fun especially if you'll show it to your best friend ^_^

i'm glad that you're relaxed now, well,enjoy your break ^_^